The thing about Mother's Day and Expectations

This past weekend we celebrated Mother's Day. A day to be thankful for all the mothers in our lives. This was my 10th Mother's Day and it seems they only get better. It always begins with some sort of breakfast in bed and homemade cards and hugs and sweetness. I think I get it easy because it is fresh on their little minds since they have been celebrating mom for the past 2 weeks (see birthday week). So it goes without saying that I am a big fan of Mother's Day.

However, I know for some it is very hard. I care deeply about many wonderful ladies who don't have children to call their own and for them this day is a reminder of what they can't have. Or something that hasn't happened yet. Also hurting are my friends who have recently (and some not so recently) lost their mothers. I imagine this day brings up all the saddest of emotions every year. I pray that these sweet friends made it through the day with peace and comfort from God and hopefully with some extra love from their families. And flowers. Flowers are always a good idea. oh and chocolate. For any day really.... (if there happens to be a man reading... take note of that.)

But then there are my friends who say mothers day is hard - not because of loss, but because of expectations. Expectations can totally kill even the best mood. Am I right? I can't tell you how many times I have planned a whole day/night/week/naptime (especially naptime) out in my head and  have been completely (and very dramatically) devastated that it didn't go as planned. So obviously, a day that is supposed to be "all about mom" where the plan is to be pampered and doted-on has the potential to be a HUGE disappointment. Especially when you have 3 young variables and 1 well intentioned spouse.

I get it. I've been there too. You wake up to a crying baby. You stumble past 2 other (although it sounds like 8 or 9) children kids fighting over... anything. (They are always fighting over something. Sometimes even over who gets the best air in the room.)  And this time it might even be over who gets to tell you "Happy Mother's Day" first, but it doesn't matter because they have forgotten the purpose of the fight and now are trying to kill each other with their screams.

So you sigh and head downstairs and clean up the "breakfast in bed" attempt and when they see you at your post they just start spouting off their breakfast orders because that's the routine. (and we all know kids love a routine except when it is at bedtime, or getting dressed, or doing homework, or anything other than eating food. Food must always happen at the same time and immediately) At some point your sweet husband comes in and says "Aww you shouldn't be doing that. It's your day, let me help." but then gets distracted because someone spills their milk. Again.

Then things start moving in fast-forward and you begin the crazy that is Sunday morning. Ironing dress clothes. Brushing teeth. Fighting. Twirling. Falling. Crying. "This is not the dress I wanted to wear because there is no pink on it. Wait, where are my shoes? Not those shoes. Where is my bible? Will you fix my hair? Walt won't stop looking at me with a weird face!"

This is when we want to throw our hands up and say "What's the point?! Mother's Day is a joke! No one appreciates me at all!!!" I know, because I have had those thoughts myself. But what I don't realize is that the real problem here is expectations.

Mother's Day/Birthday/Thanksgiving/Christmas expectations are the worst. We build them up in our minds and feel so defeated when things don't work out perfectly. Nevermind, my family is not perfect. Least of all, me. If we allow for some grace we will be able to see past the Sunday morning crazy to hear and be thankful for the sweet little voices saying "Happy Mother's Day".  And for the husband that means well, but is at least there to catch the milk waterfall that is flowing from the breakfast table.

Grace was my expectation for this Mom's Day and I am so happy that was all I planned. Somehow the day was perfect. Not because our family behaved perfectly, but because my focus was on grace. I hate to admit that I need a little focal adjustment from time to time. And because I was able to clear the expectations from my view this is what I saw....

What's better than breakfast in bed? Starbucks in bed.

And what is cuter than corny Sunday School cards?
God bless Sunday School teachers.

Just LOL at all of this. I clearly need to dress up more.

So after breakfast and church and cards we headed to lunch and took this perfect picture. I posted a civilized one to Instagram that day, but this one is a more accurate portrayal of my bunch.

 After lunch we had some lazy time before heading down to MS to see my mom. It was the first time in a long time that we have been in Senatobia when it was not raining or had not rained right before we came. Since it was nice and dry the kids took the chance in play outside. 

Chilling on the porch with a book before heading to Mom's.
My most favorite spot in the house.

This went on for at least 15 min. She has the best laugh.

The kids decided we needed to make bird feeders.
Which means they got all the stuff out and put a dab of
peanut butter on a pine cone and lost interest.
So really mom and I made bird feeders. Classic. 

Amelia and I even had a chance to ride with dad to go visit my grandparents. It was a nice but short visit. I could tell they were happy to see us all, but Amelia was the star, of course. She is sweet and smart and loves to read (which Grandmother loves) and she has that Dowdle red hair. (which makes Granddad light up!) 

Finally, Mom and I picked up some fried chicken take out so that we didn't have to cook and then we called it a day.  A great day.

DIY and Home Improvement for the lazy

Last week was beautiful in Memphis. Really, I think we had one rainy day and the rest was gorgeous spring weather. We enjoyed it to the fullest. My mood is completely dependent on the weather. Fortunately in the south, that works out well for me. If I lived in Seattle or London or some place where it rained 90% of the time, I would have no friends. Also I would most likely be single and childless because no one could stand to be around me. Or so I have been told. Whatever. I digress....

So because of the excellent weather, I felt motivated to do a few projects that have been hanging over my head.

1. clean, prime, and paint our toddler chairs.
We've had these since Amelia was 2 and they have held up well, but lately have spent lots of time in the tree house and developed a little mildew problem. Nothing a couple hours outside with a paint brush, a can of spray paint, and a happy (and adorable) painting assistant couldn't fix.
I kind of love how they turned out.

My assistant. Painting the fence with water.
In her PJs complete with matching bow. This girl.

I totally love this picture specifically for its "Little Rascals" vibe 

the finished product in pumpkin

2. The great room switch.
My older two have been sharing a room since the birth of little sis, which has been about 3.5 years. While they do love each other, there have been more than enough fights over.... well everything. I know will probably remember these years very fondly, but the time has come to make a change. We have been promising Walt that once Louisa made it out of a crib, he could move back into his room and out of the land of princess and fairies. Which is a pretty accurate description of Amelia's room. When he moved in she "graciously" allowed him to decorate his bed and the 1 foot surrounding space with "boy" paraphernalia. Nothing more. So needless to say he has been extremely patient.

So Tuesday morning Mom came up and we got to work swapping rooms. We managed to get almost all of it done while they were at school. With the exception of a few pictures hanging, new curtains, and the closets. The closets still have not been tackled because mom went home and I can't even. Kids closets are basically a black hole of every single random thing that has ever been given to them. With a few unfolded clothes and unmatched shoes mixed in. Even so, I think the rooms turned out so perfect. As much as I loved and cried over the loss of the nursery, Walt's adorable "boy cave"- as he now calls it - totally makes up for it. You have never seen a boy more happy about having his own room. And a little sister who is so proud to be in the "big girl room". Amelia, while not as pumped as her siblings, is amazingly ok with having a new 3 year old roommate and has welcomed the chance to go "all out girly" with open arms!

Walt's Boy Cave

Amelia's corner of the girl room

Little Lou's Nook

We rounded out the rest of the week with some legit home improvements done by actual skilled carpenters. Nothing dramatic, just a little crown molding in the hallway and the prettiest little semi-functional fence wall. Even The Donald would be proud of this wall, although he was definitely not the inspiration. We needed something to hide the drainage ditch at the end of the driveway that was becoming a little too interesting to our children (out of site, out of mind...hopefully). The Wall's second and more important job is to keep the basketball from rolling down in the ditch and causing an immediate halt to every. single. game.

The. Wall.

I'm so thankful for people who know how to use tools to make things out of wood. I'm even more thankful that God has given us the money and good sense to pay them for their skills.

Birthday Week happenings

Today is my birthday. It has been a wonderful day. More accurately it has been a wonderful week.

I am one of those people who celebrates an entire Birthday Week every year. 7 days of birthday fun. I thought this was more common than it apparently is. Maybe there is not actually group of people who do this, but for the life of me I cannot figure out why there wouldn't be. As mothers we don't have many opportunities to have an "all about me" day (week) so I think it is important to make the most of the one day that is all yours.

The birthday week came about some time in my adult years when getting older became less cool so I needed loved ones to pay attention to the celebratory nature of the day to make me forget about gray hair and gravity. People seem confused by the timing of my birthday week so allow me to break it down for you.

BW is the week leading up to your big day not the week following your birthday. This seems obvious to me simply because the anticipation of an event is half the fun. Also, no one cares about the day AFTER the big day. There are no "day after the wedding" parties. That is why honeymoons were invented. To let brides down easy after a year of planning and celebrating. If you are unmarried or a man and don't get the metaphor, it's like Christmas. Why do you think Target starts celebrating in October for Christmas? Because no one cares about the day after Christmas. It's over. Decorations are down and trees are on the curb. Not that I'm saying that my birthday is as important is Jesus's birth, but you get the point.

If that wasn't reason enough my birthday has a few more specific reasons for the pre birthday week. 1. My birthday is May 1st. Before smart phones and Facebook reminders people with "1st day of the month" birthdays got lost in the shuffle simply because people had not flipped the page on their calendar. I used to get so many "oops I forgot your birthday" greetings on May 2nd. Something needed to be done. If only there was a way to let everyone I crossed paths with know that my birthday was coming....hmm. 2. The week following my birthday is getting dangerously close to Mother's Day. I am a firm believer in keeping all holidays separate but equal. I genuinely feel bad for those Christmas babies who grew up with combined celebrations. If I were you I would totally adopt a week in the summer so that you too can experience the joys of Birthday week.

All. of. that. to. say.... (good grief. I can be so long winded.)
BW2016 was epic. The theme being eat all of the food. That's it. Just eat everything you see. It was great fun.

I may have mentioned that the way to my heart is with food. So I started off birthday week with one of my favorite dinners. Meatloaf and Mashed potatoes. I'm a Mississippi girl and there is no better comfort food than this combo. I should mention that my kids and husband are not from the great state of MS and therefore are not huge fans of this meal.  But it's my Birthday Week and I am also the family chef so.... Like it or not. Everyone just be happy making bird's nests out of Potatoes and English peas.

Wednesday night we took the kids to one of my favorite sandwich places. I have no pictures because my kids turned into hooligans as soon as they saw the chalk board wall and made everyone wish they had chosen another dining location. 

Thursday was beautiful and I was feeling the need to sit out and enjoy a good book in the awesome weather. I have been a fan of the Big Mama Blog for some time, but just recently discovered her books. Melanie Shankle has somehow tapped directly into my brain and is writing my life, only much funnier and more fabulous. Naturally, I'm convinced we are now best friends. In the same way I'm certain Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake (collectively) and I will one day hang out together doing Bee Gees impressions and laughing about hashtags. Until then, buy the book. And then read it. You're welcome.

Thursday night I met some sweet friends for an "elegant" dinner at The Farmer on Highland. Again I have no pictures of this but for a completely different reason. The food was way delicious and the company was lovely. There was no time for pictures. We were too busy loving our ladies night sans kids.

Friday was packed with fun. Mom and Sister came up for lunch and shopping. I may have had a highly embarrassing experience in a very nice accessories shop. Ill just say I left the shop feeling a bit like Vivian Ward in Pretty Woman. But the day was not a complete loss. I picked up some adorable earrings and had the best time with my favorite girls. 

That night we all got together again to run the Opening Eyes to Autism 5k. This race holds such a special place in the hearts of our family and it was so fun to get the entire gang (plus a few hundred more) together to run for my sweet nephew Owen. Team Owen rocked it and won the award for largest group! Awesome night.

Saturday (also known as Birthday Eve) we spent the day at home (which is my favorite way to spend a Saturday) and the night in Midtown. Well Steve and I went to Midtown. The kids stayed with a sitter which we all know is about as fun as aSaturday night gets when you are a kid. Steve and I hit up the always spectacular Babalu for some  lots of tapas style cuisine. Beginning with homemade guacamole and ending with a dessert PLATTER and a personal fireworks spectacle. Which is, in my opinion, the only way to celebrate a birthday.

That brings us to today. May 1. Here's the thing. If you start talking about your birthday weeks in advance, people know about it and have fun celebrating with you. Sunday morning started with breakfast in bed from the kids, and then more surprise breakfast at church with the best Sunday School class eva, followed by a fun lunch with presents (see what I mean about the food theme?). I finished my BW2016 with a little pedicure, coffee, and FB messages. 

I'm not one to ask for extra attention on a regular basis, but there is a time and a place for it. And that time is your birthday. Mom friend, I give you permission to let people pamper you on your big day. It makes you happy and it makes everyone around you happy. 

If you don't believe me, look at this face!

So long 37. You were good to me but #38isthenewblack.

Let's hear it for the Mom bodies!

Moms, can we just own our mom bodies? I think we can start a movement if we all work together. I'm sitting here getting decked out in athletic gear for the Mother/Son Olympics at school and all the usual voices are fighting in my head. "Yuck! Why must spandex be so stretchy and also why is not stretchy enough?" Then the Rationalizing Voice (my favorite btw) comes back with "well I think you look fine. You've had 3 kids. Who cares if your marsupial pouch sticks out a little? Surely other mothers have the same battle scars from pregnancy." But then Insecure voice says "but what about all the tiny super fit moms? You can't stand near them, towering over them like a nice shade tree. Someone will think you are their mom too."

Rationalizing voice has a point. If I'm happy and taking care of myself, I need to be happy with my Mom Body.... even proud.  I want to just own it, but I am constantly confronted with the images that cause Insecure Voice to panic.

So here is my plan. Let's start a movement to own our mom bodies. It will only work if we are all on board. So fit moms, join us please. Eat a donut and wash it down with a milk shake and enjoy it! We can do it if we all work together! Who's with me?!?!

Tis the season to Prom

If you guys haven't noticed it is prom season. It's all over social media. Moms proudly posting photos of their beautiful children all dressed up and ready for the "best night of their life". And they are beautiful. Seriously. Teenage awkward years don't exist anymore. I remember prom. It was a big deal. I imagine if Facebook had been around in the 90s my mom and I would have been plastering so many pictures of me in my super sequined dress (that incidentally could double as battle armor) that the internet would be sick of me.

I think it's safe to say that prom pictures have changed a bit since the mid 90s. Have you seen them? I believe some are actually taken by professional photographers, you know, people that used to only photograph things like weddings and newborns. I'm amazed by this. We took our pictures with a 35 mm camera standing in front of someone's dad's Buick LeSabre. And the poses. Wedding quality stances in a grassy field at sunset gazing lovingly in each others eyes like they had just said "I Do." In reality they are probably on their first date and the most contact they have had is via text messages discussing color coordinating her dress and his converse sneakers. I even saw a close up of two sweet kids holding hands focusing on a diamond ring that was prominently placed on her left ring finger. You know, LIKE A WEDDING RING. Whoa. Let's all remember it's. a. dance. 

Allow me to point out another interesting prom addition-the Promposal. All I can say is good grief. As if asking a girl to the biggest night of her high school career wasn't difficult enough, now these poor teenage boys must preform a unique Pinterest inspired stunt (including posters and a song and possibly a flash mob) that if she accepts will be shared instantly on social media. Lord help these pimple faced little men with sweaty palms. I guess actually proposing to your wife will be breeze after this stress. Bless them all. I think I will have Walt start searching Pinterest now.

I hope the 2016 prom goers are having a blast. It will be a night they will always remember. I remember every detail of mine. And in the spirit of #TBT, I thought I would share this.

This is how we did Prom Photoshoots in 1994.
Lets take a minute to soak this in. There are some things we need to discuss.

First, of course, that dress. Purchased from the Mother of the Bride section at Goldsmiths.

I was 16... just a sophomore baby (thus the reason my dad only approved a MOB dress that covered as much of my skin as possible) and thrilled to be going to the Jr/Sr prom. Look at that smile. Never mind I had never spoken more than 3 words to my sweet date. Never mind I was tagging along with my older cousin and his friends who I barely knew and who were decidedly more popular than I was. And never mind I would never be able to find the nerve to form complete sentences and actually talk to anyone the entire night. I was going to prom and that is all that mattered.

Back to the dress. It was brown with copper leaves and shoulder pads. Why? My dad insisted the dress be modest. But who insisted it be ugly? Did I have no friends to help me?

All I can say is thank the Lord Mark Zuckerberg is younger than I am and therefore my teenage years were not lived out on Facebook. Im not sure I would have survived the knee length shiny copper ensemble.  Tragic.

Belated Easter Post

So I was looking at photos on my camera the other day and realized that we are almost at the end of April and I have failed to shamelessly brag on my beautiful children in their Easter frocks to the blog world. That is unacceptable parenting. I posted a picture or two that day on Instagram, but that does not do a holiday justice.

Easter is a wonderful time of new beginnings. Spring has sprung. Everything is bright and colorful. Trees and grasses are greener. The weather is warming and people are coming out of hiding. I am a traditionalist when it comes to new Easter clothes. I had a Ohioan friend who commented on how quaint and Southern it was of me to be shopping for Easter dresses. She's totally right. It is so Southern and I love it. It's the one time of year that I get to dress up my family like they are my own personal dolls. (Husband included. He is sweet to play along.) Last year I went a little crazy with the matching and bought the entire yellow section of the Kelly's Kids Catalogue. After being ruthlessly teased by our Midtown friends, Steve swore never to wear matching clothes again. I guess I don't blame him. We did look a little ridiculous, but the pictures were adorable!!!

This year everyone did their own thing and these kids were even more precious. Look at them.

Easter Sunday was such a great day. We begin the day worshipping with our Kirby Woods family and then headed down to my parents for lunch and egg hunting. Always a fun day with family. I have always loved being with my family, but the older we get the more I love it. I hope my kids stay as close as me and my siblings and we can keep getting together every year as the family just gets bigger and bigger. We missed having Carmen, Jeremy, and Elzy with us this year since they were in Jackson celebrating with the Keens. However, we kept them in the loop on all of the good food they were missing and thanked them for therefore leaving "more for us" because thats how we roll.... pun intended.

After we were sufficiently stuffed we took the obligatory family pics, cousin pics, grandparent with grandchildren pics. Every combination we could come up with. Because this is also tradition. I remember doing this at my grandmothers house during the holidays. I hated it. So of course, I want my kids to grow up with the same annoyance so they will have the same memories. Circle of life.

This pictures sums up the kids cooperation with every photo session.
Grandmommy and Granddaddy are doing their best ventriloquist acts
trying to convince everyone to say "cheese"

Then the egg hunting. Followed immediately by eating all the candy right there in the driveway. Good times.

It was a fun day and everyone passed out from a sugar induced coma on the way home. Just as it should be.

I will leave this last photo for you guys to Ooo and Ahh over. Its possibly my favorite of the day. Walt was so proud to be wearing a coat like dad. He asked afterwards if he could wear the coat to play "businessman" at home. Bless his sweet weird heart.

Kelly Osbourne and Homemade Mac and Cheese

I was reading a facebook post today and the person was talking about meeting Kelly Osbourne and she noted "who is the funniest, most wonderfully warm woman." That struck me for several reasons. First, because the writer felt the need to point that out as if to say...."I know what you guys are thinking, but let me set you straight." I even thought at first, well isn't that nice to know that she is warm (because obviously she is funny). That's unexpected.

But then I started thinking. Why shouldn't she be warm? She was at a nice party with nice food? You don't always hear people making a point to stop and describe "regular" women in that way. I don't know. I guess it is a surprise to hear that when you run into a celebrity they aren't shouting at their assistants to bring them exactly 4 slightly green bananas and a bottle of their special kind of sparkling water. It's nice to know that they are normal, sweet women. So sweet that someone would notice and write about it.

Warm. That is such a great description. Warm is comfortable. Warm is a fire and fuzzy slippers. Warm produces a smile. Warm is friendly and passionate and cares about what you care about. Warm reminds me of mac and cheese. And there is nothing bad about the way mac and cheese makes you feel. Warm is a hug from mom.

So that got me thinking further. Wow. Wouldn't it be nice if that is what people said after they met me? I wouldn't expect someone to mention it on social media or even tell me, but I would hope that I could be warm and kind and loving and compassionate to people everyday in my daily routine. You see, I am not naturally those things. Im kind of loud and sarcastic and distracted on a daily basis so if someone saw those things in me, they would be seeing Jesus through me. And THAT is a goal to strive for. That when I'm being "funny" or loud and basically saying "look at me!" it would not overshadow what is good and kind that says "look at Him!"