It is Sunday. The 7th day of the year. I have been successfully reading my Bible and studying and journaling and praying for an entire week.
It is important to point out this accomplishment because, while I am a huge Bible nerd and love reading and discussing it so much, I am also an even bigger procrastinator and all around lazy human. I often get behind in my reading and have to play catch up. And when I say often, I mean at least once a week.
This is a tough truth for me to swallow because it seems really strange for someone who just confessed to being a full out Bible nerd to have such a problem with reading it daily. My mind and heart sincerely desire to hear from the Lord everyday, my body really really loves to sleep that extra 30 minutes or my eyes really want to scroll through Instagram or watch one more episode of the crown on Netflix. This is a struggle we all face everyday although I think some of my friends struggle less with slothfulness than I do.
I'm reminded that this is a universal struggle right out of the gate in Genesis when we see our girl Eve struggle with the same problem of listening to her body instead of God (we all know the dangers of shopping on an empty stomach) and making a decision based on what she sees right in front of her. (Raise your hand if you are still grabbing chocolate from the Christmas stocking stash every time you walk by even though you told yourself you were not eating sweets during the month of January.... No? So it's just me then.)
Genesis. Y'all, I am ate up with Genesis. God's entire plan for the world is laid out right there. He doesn't leave anything out. He is pretty specific about what he wants and tells His people over and over and even using visual aids to make it easy for those folks to understand. And Y'all, the people are not spectacular. They are Flawed. Super flawed. And they waste no time jumping into sin. You can almost hear God sigh and say "really? already, guys? I mean we JUST named the animals and I was JUST getting used to our afternoon walks. Sigh. Ok. Here is how we will fix this...." (paraphrased).
And it happens again and again. But God forgives and still provides because He is good and He loves us even though we can't seem to say "No" to the snake, put down the chocolate covered cherries, turn off Netflix, or wake up 30 minutes earlier to spend time with Him. He still loves us.
How do we know that He still loves us and still has a plan? Because we read it in God's word. Faith comes through hearing the Word of God. As I was reading this week about our girl Eve, this thought came to mind....
Eve's knowledge was secondhand and that cost her. What a gigantic commercial for reading the Bible. We can't allow our only knowledge of God to come from someone else in the form of christian books and blogs and sermons and podcasts. Those are great, but we first need to get it straight from the horses mouth.... er rather the mouth of the God of the universe. There that sounds more respectful. But you know what I mean. Lets not be caught with a handful of apple because we weren't exactly sure what God said concerning His love for us.
///
So tomorrow is Monday again. We made it through the first few days back at school. We are slowly easing into 2018. Like I said, I really only accomplished reading the Bible and getting kids to their correct schools before the bell rang. Hoping I can do the waking up earlier and resisting the chocolate this next week. But I'll settle for just one of those. I can't set the bar too high, you know. It is only January.
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Thursday, January 4, 2018
A Weirdly Enthusiastic Book Review
Have I mentioned that I'm a Bible nerd?
Like for real. A total geek.
It's fine. Whatever. I've always been kind of a dork so at least this is a more purposeful use of my dorkiness.
Now hear me out. I'm not saying I'm super Holy. Nope. As much as I would like to say that I'm basically an angel on Earth, I think my family would all be willing to testify that is definitely not the case. I just really really like the Bible.
Maybe it's because it is the divine word of God or maybe it is just because I have only read a handful of books in my life (Sorry Mrs Jubb.) and this is the only one I have ever read more than once.
By the way... I have never understood people that read books multiple times. People like my husband and daughter. That seems like a lot of work when you already know how it is going to end. My daughter has read the entire Harry Potter series twice. She is 11. I'm fairly sure the only books that I had even read cover to cover at that age were Ramona Quimby Age 8 and a few Baby Sitters Club books. But I am not even completely confident that I read every page of those.
So the point is... I have never been a veracious reader.
However, that changed 4 years ago when I joined a Chronological Bible Study at a friend's house. As a group we read through the entire Bible in one year and met weekly to discuss it. This was a game changer for me.
I have spent my entire life in Church. Daughter of a deacon and Sunday school teacher. I attended children's church, children's choir, youth group, youth choir, youth leadership council (not sure really what this was but we met every month), and went on several mission trips. In college I was a part of BSU and attended a local church regularly. My background was pretty solid. I became a Christian at age 9 and new all of the popular Bible stories by heart. I even had a few verses memorized back in the day, but usually could only manage to pull out John 3:16 if ever put on the spot.
I was not a stranger to God's Word. But I NEVER had the expectation to read that thing as one gigantic story. No way. That was not the purpose of the Bible, I thought. You were just supposed to carry it around and pull out different topical verses and stories when they fit a certain situation. I honestly thought it was more of a collection of short stories that were used independently of each other.
I was pretty clear on Genesis and maybe Exodus and the Gospels, but everything else felt random. Especially the Minor Prophets. Who in the world ever read those? Nahum? Habakkuk? Haggai? I don't remember a single youth retreat sermon preached from those scriptures. Are they even in English?
I feel I need to point out here that I do not feel like it was a problem with my Christian role models or leaders that caused me to be so clueless about the Bible. It just happened. And if I am being honest it probably had more to do with my heart. You see, I was a classic goody goody and chronic rule follower. I would venture to say that I may have considered myself SO good that I didn't need the Bible. I felt like I had a pretty good handle on God's will for my life and didn't need to read Nahum to shed any more light on the subject.
So as I mentioned I joined a group that was studying the Bible chronologically using a reading plan and corresponding devotional written by Iva May. Her 365 day devotion helped me stick to the reading schedule necessary to finish the entire Bible in a year. Fast forward 4 years and I can't stop won't stop. Reading the Bible as the complete story that it is completely changed my faith. Or should I say strengthen it. I wasn't really able to truly believe in salvation through Jesus that is laid out in the New Testament until I understood the reason for atonement explained repeatedly in the Old Testament.
There is so much more I could say and probably will from time to time. This year I'm committing to leading a new group of women at our church that I am so excited about and challenging myself in some other ways that include journaling and speaking. It is going to be fun.... in a absolutely nerdy kind of way.
It really is an amazing story. One that never gets old and I never get tired of reading.
So if you haven't read it for yourself, consider this a 5 star book review on Amazon or Good Reads from someone who doesn't read books, and try if for yourself.
www.chronologicalbibleteaching.com
I got this beautiful She Reads Truth Bible for Christmas. I love it and I am serious when I say beautiful! Also it has lots of maps and extras for me to geek out about including a completely new font created just for this! So basically I get to obsess about Scripture and Typography which is as good as it gets in my book.
www.shopshereadstruth.com/collections/she-reads-truth-bible
Our church is also reading through the Bible in a year and has put out an online reading plan.
www.kwbc.org/rgwt/
Like for real. A total geek.
It's fine. Whatever. I've always been kind of a dork so at least this is a more purposeful use of my dorkiness.
Now hear me out. I'm not saying I'm super Holy. Nope. As much as I would like to say that I'm basically an angel on Earth, I think my family would all be willing to testify that is definitely not the case. I just really really like the Bible.
Maybe it's because it is the divine word of God or maybe it is just because I have only read a handful of books in my life (Sorry Mrs Jubb.) and this is the only one I have ever read more than once.
By the way... I have never understood people that read books multiple times. People like my husband and daughter. That seems like a lot of work when you already know how it is going to end. My daughter has read the entire Harry Potter series twice. She is 11. I'm fairly sure the only books that I had even read cover to cover at that age were Ramona Quimby Age 8 and a few Baby Sitters Club books. But I am not even completely confident that I read every page of those.
So the point is... I have never been a veracious reader.
However, that changed 4 years ago when I joined a Chronological Bible Study at a friend's house. As a group we read through the entire Bible in one year and met weekly to discuss it. This was a game changer for me.
I have spent my entire life in Church. Daughter of a deacon and Sunday school teacher. I attended children's church, children's choir, youth group, youth choir, youth leadership council (not sure really what this was but we met every month), and went on several mission trips. In college I was a part of BSU and attended a local church regularly. My background was pretty solid. I became a Christian at age 9 and new all of the popular Bible stories by heart. I even had a few verses memorized back in the day, but usually could only manage to pull out John 3:16 if ever put on the spot.
I was not a stranger to God's Word. But I NEVER had the expectation to read that thing as one gigantic story. No way. That was not the purpose of the Bible, I thought. You were just supposed to carry it around and pull out different topical verses and stories when they fit a certain situation. I honestly thought it was more of a collection of short stories that were used independently of each other.
I was pretty clear on Genesis and maybe Exodus and the Gospels, but everything else felt random. Especially the Minor Prophets. Who in the world ever read those? Nahum? Habakkuk? Haggai? I don't remember a single youth retreat sermon preached from those scriptures. Are they even in English?
I feel I need to point out here that I do not feel like it was a problem with my Christian role models or leaders that caused me to be so clueless about the Bible. It just happened. And if I am being honest it probably had more to do with my heart. You see, I was a classic goody goody and chronic rule follower. I would venture to say that I may have considered myself SO good that I didn't need the Bible. I felt like I had a pretty good handle on God's will for my life and didn't need to read Nahum to shed any more light on the subject.
So as I mentioned I joined a group that was studying the Bible chronologically using a reading plan and corresponding devotional written by Iva May. Her 365 day devotion helped me stick to the reading schedule necessary to finish the entire Bible in a year. Fast forward 4 years and I can't stop won't stop. Reading the Bible as the complete story that it is completely changed my faith. Or should I say strengthen it. I wasn't really able to truly believe in salvation through Jesus that is laid out in the New Testament until I understood the reason for atonement explained repeatedly in the Old Testament.
There is so much more I could say and probably will from time to time. This year I'm committing to leading a new group of women at our church that I am so excited about and challenging myself in some other ways that include journaling and speaking. It is going to be fun.... in a absolutely nerdy kind of way.
It really is an amazing story. One that never gets old and I never get tired of reading.
So if you haven't read it for yourself, consider this a 5 star book review on Amazon or Good Reads from someone who doesn't read books, and try if for yourself.
www.chronologicalbibleteaching.com
I got this beautiful She Reads Truth Bible for Christmas. I love it and I am serious when I say beautiful! Also it has lots of maps and extras for me to geek out about including a completely new font created just for this! So basically I get to obsess about Scripture and Typography which is as good as it gets in my book.
www.shopshereadstruth.com/collections/she-reads-truth-bible
Our church is also reading through the Bible in a year and has put out an online reading plan.
www.kwbc.org/rgwt/
Monday, January 1, 2018
Deep thoughts as the ball drops
It's December 31st and I'm sitting in my favorite spot on the couch under a cozy blanket and staring at a Christmas tree that is way past its prime. I think about what a great few months it has been. I enjoyed this holiday season so much which is exactly what we all needed after such a crazy year.
I purposely didn't put a lot of pressure on myself this holiday season. After listening to several podcasts on keeping things simple I was deteremined to do just that. My heart always longs for simple. Im not always good at it because we live in a world and in a time when simple is so difficult and not at all exciting. Nevertheless, I persisted and attempted a stress free minimalist Christmas holiday.
I didn't worry that on December 22nd we still didn't have a single wrapped Christmas present under the tree. I chose not to panic when we only managed to bake and give away half the number of gingerbread cookies than we did last year. I went minimal on the teacher gifts this year, concentrating only on the main school teachers and asking God to forgive me for drawing a line before any of the specialty teachers and coaches and just really great friends. I kept my cool when we missed a day or too of our family advent devotionals and when the flu struck our house in mid December, I decided it was time to catch up on our favorite season movies. I even introduced myself and my 11 year old to the wonderful world of Hallmark movies!
Miraculously it worked. Slowing down and focusing on what was most important for our family and letting other things "just happen" if there was time, gave us room to breathe and anticipate the Advent of Christmas.
///
I'm not one to get caught up in New Year's Resolutions. Not exactly. I mean I have tried the whole "no eating sugar" or "giving up Coke" or "exercise everyday" resolutions in the past but they all seem to fall flat with no real motivation behind them and I end up forgetting it all by February 1st.
However, this year on the heels of a not-so-easy year but a wonderful holiday season, I find myself with the desire to begin 2018 with a little more purpose. Not a list of goals, but with a guiding principle for the year. I hear of people picking a word of the year and I always think that is something they can use for a great motivating hashtag. Even as I roll my eyes at the concept, the word intentional keeps flooding my mind.
Be intentional.
That is what my heart keeps telling me. God has been highlighting all of the ways I coast through life out of habit and it is so very convicting.
I want to be more intentional with my free time. Spending less time mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and choosing to spend my minutes/hours/days with a purpose.
I want to be more intentional with my health, specifically my eating. No more mindless snacking and choosing foods based on proximity and ease. (AKA I need to intentionally try to choose water over Coke. And salad over cheese burgers. The bar is set pretty low here.)
I want to be more intentional with my spiritual growth. Allowing plenty of time for reading and studying the Bible and for praying expectant and specific prayers.
I want to be more intentional with my relationships. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
I want to be intentionally creative. Whatever that means. Whatever form that takes. I just want to spend some time creating this year because it has been far too long.
So I guess Intentional is officially my "word of 2018". It feels so much better than a resolution. I can't really fail. It's not really that kind of goal. It's just a direction I want to take for the next year. It seems like a good direction for the year of 40.
Don't you think?
I purposely didn't put a lot of pressure on myself this holiday season. After listening to several podcasts on keeping things simple I was deteremined to do just that. My heart always longs for simple. Im not always good at it because we live in a world and in a time when simple is so difficult and not at all exciting. Nevertheless, I persisted and attempted a stress free minimalist Christmas holiday.
I didn't worry that on December 22nd we still didn't have a single wrapped Christmas present under the tree. I chose not to panic when we only managed to bake and give away half the number of gingerbread cookies than we did last year. I went minimal on the teacher gifts this year, concentrating only on the main school teachers and asking God to forgive me for drawing a line before any of the specialty teachers and coaches and just really great friends. I kept my cool when we missed a day or too of our family advent devotionals and when the flu struck our house in mid December, I decided it was time to catch up on our favorite season movies. I even introduced myself and my 11 year old to the wonderful world of Hallmark movies!
Miraculously it worked. Slowing down and focusing on what was most important for our family and letting other things "just happen" if there was time, gave us room to breathe and anticipate the Advent of Christmas.
///
I'm not one to get caught up in New Year's Resolutions. Not exactly. I mean I have tried the whole "no eating sugar" or "giving up Coke" or "exercise everyday" resolutions in the past but they all seem to fall flat with no real motivation behind them and I end up forgetting it all by February 1st.
However, this year on the heels of a not-so-easy year but a wonderful holiday season, I find myself with the desire to begin 2018 with a little more purpose. Not a list of goals, but with a guiding principle for the year. I hear of people picking a word of the year and I always think that is something they can use for a great motivating hashtag. Even as I roll my eyes at the concept, the word intentional keeps flooding my mind.
Be intentional.
That is what my heart keeps telling me. God has been highlighting all of the ways I coast through life out of habit and it is so very convicting.
I want to be more intentional with my free time. Spending less time mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and choosing to spend my minutes/hours/days with a purpose.
I want to be more intentional with my health, specifically my eating. No more mindless snacking and choosing foods based on proximity and ease. (AKA I need to intentionally try to choose water over Coke. And salad over cheese burgers. The bar is set pretty low here.)
I want to be more intentional with my spiritual growth. Allowing plenty of time for reading and studying the Bible and for praying expectant and specific prayers.
I want to be more intentional with my relationships. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
I want to be intentionally creative. Whatever that means. Whatever form that takes. I just want to spend some time creating this year because it has been far too long.
So I guess Intentional is officially my "word of 2018". It feels so much better than a resolution. I can't really fail. It's not really that kind of goal. It's just a direction I want to take for the next year. It seems like a good direction for the year of 40.
Don't you think?
Saturday, November 18, 2017
On your mark...Get set...Ho, Ho, Ho.
He's home. The prodigal husband has come home.
Wait. Prodigal suggests he was acting inappropriately while he was away... I pretty sure that was not the case, because A) he was at an engineer conference and B) because he is awesome. The point is he is home and I am clearly tired.
I know I have mentioned it before, but single mothers have my sincere respect. Good grief. I am not cut out for any of that business. But none of that matters now because he is, at this very moment, snoring next to me and I couldn't be happier.
I should be sleeping, but knowing that I am not the only responsible adult in the house has me very energized. Also, I have developed a unwise habit while he was away of watching 80s and 90s movies late at night to match my moods. You know, "When Harry Met Sally" for a laugh. "Step Mom" for a good cry and "You've Got Mail" for a "This is Us" emotional palate cleanser.
Wait... Don't tell Mr Awesome, I was supposed to wait and watch "This is Us" with him. Oops.
///
I was just looking at my calendar (Paper calendar if you are wondering. I am not a digital calendar person. I'm barely a calendar person) and was gearing up for the weekend plans when I discovered next week is Thanksgiving.
Were you guys aware of this? That is just crazy. Did we skip some days in November or is it a leap year or something? I mean I haven't even had a pumpkin spice anything yet. Wait... the leap year thing makes no sense. Did I mention I was tired?
So now I am frantically trying to plan out the season. I want to plan it so hopefully it won't feel like an out of control roller coaster. I don't want to wake up New Years Day and wonder what happened to my favorite time of year.
So first.... I'm looking at Pinterest recipes. We are having a crock pot thanksgiving this year due to my parents move and home renovations and lack of working oven. It should be fun and I do love a good theme. Let me know if you have any good thanksgiving themed recipes. Personally, I'm pretty excited to try cooking this turkey breast in the crock pot. I may never go back.
http://www.recipetineats.com/juicy-slow-cooker-turkey-breast/
As soon as Thanksgiving is over the real Christmas season begins. I need a plan to do all the things I want with my family and none of the things I don't want. The Lazy Genius (my spirit animal) is doing a series on surviving the Holidays and it is....well... genius. She suggests identifying the 3 musts of the season and scheduling them first to make sure they don't get lost in the shuffle.
http://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/holidaygameplan
So I'm making that list now.
What are your musts?
Here are a few of mine....
Friday Night Movie Night.... Give me all the Christmas Movies from White Christmas to Christmas Vacation. "You serious, Clark?".... Yes. Yes I am.
Snowden Progressive Dinner.... Our old neighborhood has a progressive style dinner every December and it is my most favorite event of the year. I plan all Christmas activities around this one night. We moved away from this awesome little midtown street 6 years ago and somehow we get invited back to the dinner every year. Probably because they know we would show up whether we got an invitation or not.
Starry Nights.... This is a family favorite. The kids love to wear their pjs while we ride through Shelby Farms "ooo-ing" and "ahh-ing" at the lights. A must for sure.
Advent and Jesse Tree.... We are not good at family devotions, but we some how rally for advent each year. I love the focus. I love my wooden pallet Jesse Tree that Steve made and I love the ornaments that I quickly drew on plain watercolor paper. Most of all, I love seeing the entire story of God's plan laid out in such a beautifully visual way.
These are my top Christmas activity picks. So many other things come to mind, but these definitely have to happen for my holiday season to feel complete.
Dear Reader, (singular) what's on your must list?
Wait. Prodigal suggests he was acting inappropriately while he was away... I pretty sure that was not the case, because A) he was at an engineer conference and B) because he is awesome. The point is he is home and I am clearly tired.
I know I have mentioned it before, but single mothers have my sincere respect. Good grief. I am not cut out for any of that business. But none of that matters now because he is, at this very moment, snoring next to me and I couldn't be happier.
I should be sleeping, but knowing that I am not the only responsible adult in the house has me very energized. Also, I have developed a unwise habit while he was away of watching 80s and 90s movies late at night to match my moods. You know, "When Harry Met Sally" for a laugh. "Step Mom" for a good cry and "You've Got Mail" for a "This is Us" emotional palate cleanser.
Wait... Don't tell Mr Awesome, I was supposed to wait and watch "This is Us" with him. Oops.
///
I was just looking at my calendar (Paper calendar if you are wondering. I am not a digital calendar person. I'm barely a calendar person) and was gearing up for the weekend plans when I discovered next week is Thanksgiving.
Were you guys aware of this? That is just crazy. Did we skip some days in November or is it a leap year or something? I mean I haven't even had a pumpkin spice anything yet. Wait... the leap year thing makes no sense. Did I mention I was tired?
So now I am frantically trying to plan out the season. I want to plan it so hopefully it won't feel like an out of control roller coaster. I don't want to wake up New Years Day and wonder what happened to my favorite time of year.
So first.... I'm looking at Pinterest recipes. We are having a crock pot thanksgiving this year due to my parents move and home renovations and lack of working oven. It should be fun and I do love a good theme. Let me know if you have any good thanksgiving themed recipes. Personally, I'm pretty excited to try cooking this turkey breast in the crock pot. I may never go back.
http://www.recipetineats.com/juicy-slow-cooker-turkey-breast/
As soon as Thanksgiving is over the real Christmas season begins. I need a plan to do all the things I want with my family and none of the things I don't want. The Lazy Genius (my spirit animal) is doing a series on surviving the Holidays and it is....well... genius. She suggests identifying the 3 musts of the season and scheduling them first to make sure they don't get lost in the shuffle.
http://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/holidaygameplan
So I'm making that list now.
What are your musts?
Here are a few of mine....
Friday Night Movie Night.... Give me all the Christmas Movies from White Christmas to Christmas Vacation. "You serious, Clark?".... Yes. Yes I am.
Snowden Progressive Dinner.... Our old neighborhood has a progressive style dinner every December and it is my most favorite event of the year. I plan all Christmas activities around this one night. We moved away from this awesome little midtown street 6 years ago and somehow we get invited back to the dinner every year. Probably because they know we would show up whether we got an invitation or not.
Starry Nights.... This is a family favorite. The kids love to wear their pjs while we ride through Shelby Farms "ooo-ing" and "ahh-ing" at the lights. A must for sure.
Advent and Jesse Tree.... We are not good at family devotions, but we some how rally for advent each year. I love the focus. I love my wooden pallet Jesse Tree that Steve made and I love the ornaments that I quickly drew on plain watercolor paper. Most of all, I love seeing the entire story of God's plan laid out in such a beautifully visual way.
These are my top Christmas activity picks. So many other things come to mind, but these definitely have to happen for my holiday season to feel complete.
Dear Reader, (singular) what's on your must list?
Thursday, October 26, 2017
Don't mind me, I'm just in the pantry with the Halloween candy.
I sat down to update my blog (Blog? What's a blog?) for the first time in months. When I finally cracked open my lap top the first thing that popped up was an entry I started last month and never finished, which is shocking considering the inspired topic. Obviously, I have been suffering from lack of motivation for quite some time and this brilliant manuscript is proof....I mean it really is a wonder I haven't published a book or become a motivational speaker.
/////
I want to write, but writing is hard.
I want to clean my house, but cleaning is hard.
I want to eat healthy, but eating healthy is hard.
I want to exercise regularly, but exercising is hard.
I want to run, but running is really hard.
I want to wake up early for quiet time, but waking up early is impossible.
I want to be patient with kids, but being patient is hard.
I want to lose 10 lbs, but losing weight is hard.
I want to make better use of my time, but organization is hard.
I want to be a good mother, but mothering is just hard.
Do you know what's not hard?
Watching Netflix.
Eating cookies.
Making brownies. Seriously, why has God given me the ability to make delicious brownies with ease?
Falling asleep while trying to read.
Ignoring laundry.
Wasting time on social media.
////
I'll give you a minute to catch your breath after reading such a masterpiece. I knew that I had been in a funk recently, but reading my own incomplete thoughts shed a bright new light on this funk. It is real and has been hanging around for a while... perhaps the better part of a year.
"2017 has really kicked me in the butt." I said to my husband as I started the long "get ready for bed" process.
(Incidentally, only MY "get ready for bed" process is time consuming. My husband somehow just decides to go to bed and then simply gets. in. the. bed. With exactly zero pomp and circumstance. I kind of hate him for it.)
"Yeah," he mumbles as his eyes are closing, "it has not been the easiest year."
And that really sums it up.
2017 hasn't been particularly horrific or disastrous for the Summy family. Actually, there have been some very high points during the year (summer vacations and camps and, most recently, DISNEY...more on that later I'm sure), but all in all it has been a year of work. We have pushed through this year with our heads down and our sleeves rolled up and doing the real work of living life as a family. I wrote about a few of the "less than fun" things on this blog and there were other things just a little too private to share.
If I scan back through my social media feeds I find 2017 has been a little less Instagram and Facebook worthy. Not as many cute and polished pics of us doing fun hashtag filled activities as a family... #nofilter #choose901 #tooblessedtobestressed #timeslowdown. (BTW. Time please DO NOT slow down, because all I need is for grocery store runs and carpools and dinner clean up and homework to last longer to officially push me over the edge. Anyway I digress. again.) It's not that there were no good moments. They were just simple every day life moments that rarely get a mention on social media.
Still, as we stumble into fall and approach the holiday season -- my most favorite time of year -- I can look back and be proud of how we have trudged through the weeds as a family and are coming out on the other side stronger and with some great stories. This has been a year a growth and transition with lots of happy memories peppered with difficult new beginnings, sad goodbyes, tiresome sickness, pressing responsibilities, learning our limits, facing our fears, and experiencing grace. We will look back on this year and smile as see all the ways God was using us, teaching us, and changing us.
We made it to October 26th, y'all. The air is cooler. There are pumpkins on the front steps and I have 3 bags of Halloween candy in my pantry that no one knows about except me....and now the internet. I'm excited to enjoy the next 2 festive months and treat them as the closing ceremonies of the 2017 Summy Games! I may even hand out superlative medals as a new traditions....hmm... let me think a minute on that one.
Let me leave you with a visual of the mixed emotions we have felt this year. This little piece of Disney magic brings me such joy every time I look at it.
FACEBOOK FROM THE PAST
September 2016
Having flaxseed stuck in my teeth is not a problem I ever wanted to have. This is why I don't do healthy eating. #ipreferdonuts
/////
I want to write, but writing is hard.
I want to clean my house, but cleaning is hard.
I want to eat healthy, but eating healthy is hard.
I want to exercise regularly, but exercising is hard.
I want to run, but running is really hard.
I want to wake up early for quiet time, but waking up early is impossible.
I want to be patient with kids, but being patient is hard.
I want to lose 10 lbs, but losing weight is hard.
I want to make better use of my time, but organization is hard.
I want to be a good mother, but mothering is just hard.
Do you know what's not hard?
Watching Netflix.
Eating cookies.
Making brownies. Seriously, why has God given me the ability to make delicious brownies with ease?
Falling asleep while trying to read.
Ignoring laundry.
Wasting time on social media.
////
I'll give you a minute to catch your breath after reading such a masterpiece. I knew that I had been in a funk recently, but reading my own incomplete thoughts shed a bright new light on this funk. It is real and has been hanging around for a while... perhaps the better part of a year.
"2017 has really kicked me in the butt." I said to my husband as I started the long "get ready for bed" process.
(Incidentally, only MY "get ready for bed" process is time consuming. My husband somehow just decides to go to bed and then simply gets. in. the. bed. With exactly zero pomp and circumstance. I kind of hate him for it.)
"Yeah," he mumbles as his eyes are closing, "it has not been the easiest year."
And that really sums it up.
2017 hasn't been particularly horrific or disastrous for the Summy family. Actually, there have been some very high points during the year (summer vacations and camps and, most recently, DISNEY...more on that later I'm sure), but all in all it has been a year of work. We have pushed through this year with our heads down and our sleeves rolled up and doing the real work of living life as a family. I wrote about a few of the "less than fun" things on this blog and there were other things just a little too private to share.
If I scan back through my social media feeds I find 2017 has been a little less Instagram and Facebook worthy. Not as many cute and polished pics of us doing fun hashtag filled activities as a family... #nofilter #choose901 #tooblessedtobestressed #timeslowdown. (BTW. Time please DO NOT slow down, because all I need is for grocery store runs and carpools and dinner clean up and homework to last longer to officially push me over the edge. Anyway I digress. again.) It's not that there were no good moments. They were just simple every day life moments that rarely get a mention on social media.
Still, as we stumble into fall and approach the holiday season -- my most favorite time of year -- I can look back and be proud of how we have trudged through the weeds as a family and are coming out on the other side stronger and with some great stories. This has been a year a growth and transition with lots of happy memories peppered with difficult new beginnings, sad goodbyes, tiresome sickness, pressing responsibilities, learning our limits, facing our fears, and experiencing grace. We will look back on this year and smile as see all the ways God was using us, teaching us, and changing us.
We made it to October 26th, y'all. The air is cooler. There are pumpkins on the front steps and I have 3 bags of Halloween candy in my pantry that no one knows about except me....and now the internet. I'm excited to enjoy the next 2 festive months and treat them as the closing ceremonies of the 2017 Summy Games! I may even hand out superlative medals as a new traditions....hmm... let me think a minute on that one.
Let me leave you with a visual of the mixed emotions we have felt this year. This little piece of Disney magic brings me such joy every time I look at it.
FACEBOOK FROM THE PAST
September 2016
Having flaxseed stuck in my teeth is not a problem I ever wanted to have. This is why I don't do healthy eating. #ipreferdonuts
Sunday, August 20, 2017
What I learned on my Summer Vacation
Bless Them.
And Keep Them.
Let your face shine upon Them.
And give Them peace.
That was the prayer I whispered over my kids tonight.
////
We are in the second week of school and I don't even know how that happened. I kept meaning to sit down and write my "end of summer" or "beginning of August" post and then all this stuff happened. And by stuff I mean School Supply lists, School Clothes Shopping, Meet the teacher days, Get your schedule day, New backpacks, New lunch boxes, New bedtimes. And that was all before the first day.
Then came all the first day hoopla with the obligatory photoshoots with the hand made "First Day of ...." signs (sounds fancy, but by handmade I mean Sharpee on a piece of white paper), and the making of the lunches, the ironing of the uniforms, the Middle School fashion decisions (Lord, be near to us all), the 3 car pools, and the parent curriculum nights. The first few weeks of school is a marathon AND a sprint. At least the way the Summys do it.
So now that I have had a chance to sit and breathe, I am going to officially close out summer with my thoughts on Summer 2017. It was interesting. That's for sure.
////
This summer was not what I expected. I had very high expectations for this to be an easy breezy summer with independent children. I even wrote about it here. But clearly, I jinxed myself. (because Jinxing is real. Ask my 7 year old.)
We had a strong start. A trip to the mountains with family followed by church camp for the older 2 kids. That is when we experience the first summer hiccup. I wrote about that stellar parenting moment here. After camps and tick removal we moved seamlessly into swim lessons and more camps. What was I thinking planning major events for every week of the summer?. I should have scheduled more down time. That sentence just sounds idiotic, scheduling down time, but now I know that the only way to experience the Lazy Days of Summer is to block it out on the calendar. Sigh.
The first half of the 2 weeks of swim lessons was tough for the littlest Summy and was made even tougher by the fact that Mom and Dad took a quick weekend trip to Colorado right in the middle. Turns out kids don't love juggling tight schedules that make quick weekend trips possible. You would think after 11 years of parenting we would know this. You would think, but you would be wrong. We are slow learners. Thankfully, she rallied for the 2nd half of swim lessons and even managed to completely go underwater a few times which I count as a major success.
There was no time celebrate swimming successes or to rest because the next week was A's legit summer camp experience. We have done church camp for years, but this was her first time to go away on her own without any friends or family, you know, Parent Trap style. After all the obsessive packing and planning she was on her way and Ill admit it felt a bit like sending her off to college. There were many tears shed by one of us (me) followed by comforting hugs and reassuring words from the other (her). I was clearly worried about her for nothing. She had a great week and can't wait to go back next year.
I spent so much time obsessing over all of the camp hoopla that I almost completely forgot what else was going on that week. Walt was starting basketball day camp and he was genuinely excited about it. It would be easy and fun and just 5 hours a day. Imagine my surprise when I dropped him off on Monday morning and he fell apart at check in. "I don't know anyone here!" "What if I'm the worst one here." "Who will I eat lunch with?" I had been so caught up with preparing Amelia for what I thought would be this huge step of independence, I forgot to prepare him for the "what ifs" of simply trying something new.
It was around this time that we started noticing W's anxiety kicking up a little bit at bedtime. Worrying that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep was exactly the thing that was keeping him up at night. He was up half the night worrying and then exhausted and grumpy the next day from lack of sleep. And honestly....I was grumpy too. It was like living with a newborn again. Constantly whispering and tiptoeing worrying we would wake him after he FINALLY fell asleep.
Nope. Nope. Nope. I enjoy my sleep too much for this business! We needed to find a quick fix for this situation, like yesterday. So I filled my brain with articles and blog posts on sleep anxiety in children and asked for advice from my mom friends. We tried sleepovers in the girls' room, extra long baths, extended reading time, and taking away screen time before bed to help him relax. They were helpful suggestions that worked some of the time, but I wanted a more permanent, fool proof solution. (Because there are always super quick, fool proof solutions when it comes to kids. Again, you would think we would know this by now. Seriously, really slow learners, here.)
To add insult to injury, our "relaxing night routine" was kind of sidelined due to the Great Lice Invasion of 2017. The house was completely turned upside for 2 weeks and this mom was extremely on edge about cleanliness. In retrospect I should have taken a chill pill for the sake of my innocent children, but you know what they say about hindsight and all. As you might expect all of this disruption only made W's anxiety worse and now there is the added element of trying to stay really really clean.
So if you are keeping score you realize that I have now given my kid sleep anxiety with a side of OCD. So basically I'll be expecting my Mom Of The Year certificate in the mail any day now.
////
Why did I just tell that whole long and drawn out story? Because as I sat in that chair in the dark of Walt's bedroom waiting for him to fall asleep (which seems to be the successful solution to his falling asleep anxiety... well, that and a little nip of Melatonin), I started to cry and then pray and then cry out in prayer.
"God, these are the times when I need you to be their peace. To be their comfort. Because as much as I want to be their everything, there are somethings I just can't do. You are the only true source of peace and comfort. You are their shelter and their strength."
You guys, this parenting job is a burden sometimes. But, thankfully, God promises that if we cast all our cares upon Him he will sustain us. He will carry the burdens of our heart. What a relief as I sit here burdened for my children. Worried about their fears and safety and security. God knew I would feel this way, in fact, He designed that way. That are hearts would break with love for our children just as His heart breaks for us.
And in Galatians 6 God speaks through Paul and says, See how I am taking this burden from you? Now go and do this for someone else. And in doing this you will be fulfilling Christ's law which is basically your one job. (paraphrased...obviously). God's word tells us that because He has lightened our load we should do the same for others. Because He has taken my heavy load from me, I can turn and take on the worries and burdens of my kids, my husband, and my friends. (how many ways can I say that sentence before I get my own point?) It's not easy work, but it's what we are called to do. Bearing one another's burdens it's supposed to be hard. Burdens are heavy by definition. No one should have to carry them alone.
////
I'm happy to report that since the beginning of school, Walt's anxiety has decreased. It could be because he is exhausted every afternoon (Bless you dear 2nd grade teachers), or it could just be because he feels comfortable knowing that I'll be sitting here every night. Or maybe its the Melatonin. If so, I'm buying stock in that stuff.
Whatever the reason, here I sit. Again. In the dark. On a different night. Praying God's peace over my son. And scrolling through Instagram... because I'm only human and it takes this boy forever to fall asleep.
Lord,
Bless Them.
And Keep Them.
Let your face shine upon Them.
And give Them peace.
FACEBOOK FROM THE PAST
August 2016
Kerri Walsh Jennings and I are the same age and we both have had 3 kids. It's basically like looking in a mirror. #Olympics2016
And Keep Them.
Let your face shine upon Them.
And give Them peace.
That was the prayer I whispered over my kids tonight.
////
We are in the second week of school and I don't even know how that happened. I kept meaning to sit down and write my "end of summer" or "beginning of August" post and then all this stuff happened. And by stuff I mean School Supply lists, School Clothes Shopping, Meet the teacher days, Get your schedule day, New backpacks, New lunch boxes, New bedtimes. And that was all before the first day.
Then came all the first day hoopla with the obligatory photoshoots with the hand made "First Day of ...." signs (sounds fancy, but by handmade I mean Sharpee on a piece of white paper), and the making of the lunches, the ironing of the uniforms, the Middle School fashion decisions (Lord, be near to us all), the 3 car pools, and the parent curriculum nights. The first few weeks of school is a marathon AND a sprint. At least the way the Summys do it.
So now that I have had a chance to sit and breathe, I am going to officially close out summer with my thoughts on Summer 2017. It was interesting. That's for sure.
////
This summer was not what I expected. I had very high expectations for this to be an easy breezy summer with independent children. I even wrote about it here. But clearly, I jinxed myself. (because Jinxing is real. Ask my 7 year old.)
We had a strong start. A trip to the mountains with family followed by church camp for the older 2 kids. That is when we experience the first summer hiccup. I wrote about that stellar parenting moment here. After camps and tick removal we moved seamlessly into swim lessons and more camps. What was I thinking planning major events for every week of the summer?. I should have scheduled more down time. That sentence just sounds idiotic, scheduling down time, but now I know that the only way to experience the Lazy Days of Summer is to block it out on the calendar. Sigh.
 |
| Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs. Y'all, God was just showing off that day. |
The first half of the 2 weeks of swim lessons was tough for the littlest Summy and was made even tougher by the fact that Mom and Dad took a quick weekend trip to Colorado right in the middle. Turns out kids don't love juggling tight schedules that make quick weekend trips possible. You would think after 11 years of parenting we would know this. You would think, but you would be wrong. We are slow learners. Thankfully, she rallied for the 2nd half of swim lessons and even managed to completely go underwater a few times which I count as a major success.
 |
| Big sis giving Little sis a pep talk before swim lessons. The are precious. |
There was no time celebrate swimming successes or to rest because the next week was A's legit summer camp experience. We have done church camp for years, but this was her first time to go away on her own without any friends or family, you know, Parent Trap style. After all the obsessive packing and planning she was on her way and Ill admit it felt a bit like sending her off to college. There were many tears shed by one of us (me) followed by comforting hugs and reassuring words from the other (her). I was clearly worried about her for nothing. She had a great week and can't wait to go back next year.
 |
| Moments before I left her and cried all the way home. True story, I actually said "I forgot to tell her to drink water! What if she forgets to drink water?!?" I was clearly unstable. |
I spent so much time obsessing over all of the camp hoopla that I almost completely forgot what else was going on that week. Walt was starting basketball day camp and he was genuinely excited about it. It would be easy and fun and just 5 hours a day. Imagine my surprise when I dropped him off on Monday morning and he fell apart at check in. "I don't know anyone here!" "What if I'm the worst one here." "Who will I eat lunch with?" I had been so caught up with preparing Amelia for what I thought would be this huge step of independence, I forgot to prepare him for the "what ifs" of simply trying something new.
It was around this time that we started noticing W's anxiety kicking up a little bit at bedtime. Worrying that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep was exactly the thing that was keeping him up at night. He was up half the night worrying and then exhausted and grumpy the next day from lack of sleep. And honestly....I was grumpy too. It was like living with a newborn again. Constantly whispering and tiptoeing worrying we would wake him after he FINALLY fell asleep.
Nope. Nope. Nope. I enjoy my sleep too much for this business! We needed to find a quick fix for this situation, like yesterday. So I filled my brain with articles and blog posts on sleep anxiety in children and asked for advice from my mom friends. We tried sleepovers in the girls' room, extra long baths, extended reading time, and taking away screen time before bed to help him relax. They were helpful suggestions that worked some of the time, but I wanted a more permanent, fool proof solution. (Because there are always super quick, fool proof solutions when it comes to kids. Again, you would think we would know this by now. Seriously, really slow learners, here.)
To add insult to injury, our "relaxing night routine" was kind of sidelined due to the Great Lice Invasion of 2017. The house was completely turned upside for 2 weeks and this mom was extremely on edge about cleanliness. In retrospect I should have taken a chill pill for the sake of my innocent children, but you know what they say about hindsight and all. As you might expect all of this disruption only made W's anxiety worse and now there is the added element of trying to stay really really clean.
So if you are keeping score you realize that I have now given my kid sleep anxiety with a side of OCD. So basically I'll be expecting my Mom Of The Year certificate in the mail any day now.
////
Why did I just tell that whole long and drawn out story? Because as I sat in that chair in the dark of Walt's bedroom waiting for him to fall asleep (which seems to be the successful solution to his falling asleep anxiety... well, that and a little nip of Melatonin), I started to cry and then pray and then cry out in prayer.
"God, these are the times when I need you to be their peace. To be their comfort. Because as much as I want to be their everything, there are somethings I just can't do. You are the only true source of peace and comfort. You are their shelter and their strength."
You guys, this parenting job is a burden sometimes. But, thankfully, God promises that if we cast all our cares upon Him he will sustain us. He will carry the burdens of our heart. What a relief as I sit here burdened for my children. Worried about their fears and safety and security. God knew I would feel this way, in fact, He designed that way. That are hearts would break with love for our children just as His heart breaks for us.
And in Galatians 6 God speaks through Paul and says, See how I am taking this burden from you? Now go and do this for someone else. And in doing this you will be fulfilling Christ's law which is basically your one job. (paraphrased...obviously). God's word tells us that because He has lightened our load we should do the same for others. Because He has taken my heavy load from me, I can turn and take on the worries and burdens of my kids, my husband, and my friends. (how many ways can I say that sentence before I get my own point?) It's not easy work, but it's what we are called to do. Bearing one another's burdens it's supposed to be hard. Burdens are heavy by definition. No one should have to carry them alone.
////
I'm happy to report that since the beginning of school, Walt's anxiety has decreased. It could be because he is exhausted every afternoon (Bless you dear 2nd grade teachers), or it could just be because he feels comfortable knowing that I'll be sitting here every night. Or maybe its the Melatonin. If so, I'm buying stock in that stuff.
Whatever the reason, here I sit. Again. In the dark. On a different night. Praying God's peace over my son. And scrolling through Instagram... because I'm only human and it takes this boy forever to fall asleep.
Lord,
Bless Them.
And Keep Them.
Let your face shine upon Them.
And give Them peace.
FACEBOOK FROM THE PAST
August 2016
Kerri Walsh Jennings and I are the same age and we both have had 3 kids. It's basically like looking in a mirror. #Olympics2016
Thursday, August 3, 2017
THAT mom is usually related to THOSE children
I am in the middle about writing a very introspective, thoughtful post about everything I am learning from this summer that proved way more difficult than I expected. (See my plans for the best summer eva here.) But I am taking a minute to jot down something that I noticed today and didn't want to forget.
It's no secret that earlier in the year I discovered a love for podcasts. Podcasts by women for women about regular life are my jam. And if you can throw in some spirituality and a lesson from God while still making me laugh, well then I am your #1 fan.
Earlier in the summer I was listening to such a podcast (I can't remember exactly which one because I binge them all... If it comes to me I will most definitely come back and site the reference.) (This is possibly why I received a failing grade for almost every research paper I wrote in college.) Anyway, the ladies on the podcast were discussing some of the most annoying things of summer and mentioned those obnoxious kids who glob on to your family at the pool. They were speaking specifically about those who just show up for snack time, but I was thinking "YES. I don't like those kids that just pick a family to hang out with and never go back to their mom. And their mom is super relieved to get a break never seems to try to find them. Ugh.... how annoying are they?!?!?" (said in the most holier than thou voice.)
Maybe you see where this is going.
Well today while watching my kids play at the pool while sitting under the umbrella and listening to (you guessed it) a podcast, I realized something. Louisa is one of those obnoxious kids. She is totally happy putting around the pool and going up to kids who have a doting parent or grandparent with them and just strikes up a conversation. Clearly she got this skill from her father. As I mentioned, my preferred posture at the pool is sunglasses on, hat down, ear buds in, and a sign that says "don't even think of coming to talk to me". Well, just kidding about the sign... maybe.
I watcher her today go up to several families (like usual) and show them all of her swimming tricks like blowing bubbles, putting her face in the water, and super splashy kicks, but then I noticed this one grandfather move to the deep end of the pool with his kids.
"Huh? that's weird" I thought. But maybe he is wanting to work on their swimming technique and needed more room. Then, as Lou started putting that direction to chat, I noticed he quickly moved his crew to the opposite side of the pool. He was clearly trying to get way from her. She was one of those kids to him.
Ooops. I didn't see that coming. I thought those children were the one with dead beat, neglectful parents. Wait. Am I a dead beat mom. Is it true? Am I okay with it? So many questions for an afternoon at the pool.
/ / / / /
Several weeks ago I was sitting at the pool watching the kids swim and noticed another mom swimming with her kids. She and her 2 preschool age kids were playing right in front of me where Lou was just doing her thing. This young mother was very hands-on. And super encouraging... no really, like seriously encouraging. "You are so great at kicking in the water!" "Way to blow bubbles!" "You are so brave!" "I love spending time at the pool with you guys!"
I immediately felt the mom guilt well up inside me. "I should be playing with my kids. She's a better mom than I am because she actually enjoys splashing with her 3 year old. Why can't I find so much joy in watching my toddler blow bubbles in the water?"
About that time I noticed Lou joining in this family's love fest. She is never one to turn down some good old fashion praise and adoration, even from complete strangers.
"Look at how high I can splash when I kick!" "I can put my whole face in the water! Watch me!" The Super Mom looked up at me and then looked back at Lou and said "YOU ARE amazing! Thats the best splash I have ever seen! Look boys, isn't she great at splashing!" And then looked back at me with as if to say... "I guess I will just show your kid the affection she needs since you obviously can't be bothered to mother well." (To be fair. She didn't say these things out loud. But I can totally read minds and well... I'm 99% sure that is what she was thinking.)
She was mom-shaming me right there in the shallow end of the pool.
I couldn't believe it. I wanted to jump in and defend myself and tell her how even when I am in the pool Lou swims up to strangers to show off and how I am a super mom. That I limit screen time (well unless it's summer. or unless Sesame Street is on, because it's educational. or unless I'm trying to cook dinner and... well never mind) and that limit sweets and make homemade dinners and read bedtime stories and....
Instead, I sat there looked her in the eyes and tipped my visor to her. I will not be shamed into mommy competition. I will never win at that game. The truth is... by her standards I am a dead beat. And I think I'm totally cool with that. My kids are happy and safe and have learned to play by themselves (most of the time). Even my mom, the Mother Theresa of moms, didn't chase us around the country club pool cheering on our doggy paddling skills. I never once felt neglected.
So yeah... I am THAT mom and Lou is one of THOSE kids. And neither of us are looking to change. I'm not sure we could even if we tried. But look at this face. Don't you want to see her stick her whole face in the water? It really is a fantastic skill.
FACEBOOK FROM THE PAST
June 2014
I did not enjoy the snarky tone the Wii Fit took with me as it informed me I was overweight and my "wii fit age" is actually 64. What?!? Shut up you stupid Nintendo.
 |
| This is what my kids do at the pool. |
It's no secret that earlier in the year I discovered a love for podcasts. Podcasts by women for women about regular life are my jam. And if you can throw in some spirituality and a lesson from God while still making me laugh, well then I am your #1 fan.
Earlier in the summer I was listening to such a podcast (I can't remember exactly which one because I binge them all... If it comes to me I will most definitely come back and site the reference.) (This is possibly why I received a failing grade for almost every research paper I wrote in college.) Anyway, the ladies on the podcast were discussing some of the most annoying things of summer and mentioned those obnoxious kids who glob on to your family at the pool. They were speaking specifically about those who just show up for snack time, but I was thinking "YES. I don't like those kids that just pick a family to hang out with and never go back to their mom. And their mom is super relieved to get a break never seems to try to find them. Ugh.... how annoying are they?!?!?" (said in the most holier than thou voice.)
Maybe you see where this is going.
Well today while watching my kids play at the pool while sitting under the umbrella and listening to (you guessed it) a podcast, I realized something. Louisa is one of those obnoxious kids. She is totally happy putting around the pool and going up to kids who have a doting parent or grandparent with them and just strikes up a conversation. Clearly she got this skill from her father. As I mentioned, my preferred posture at the pool is sunglasses on, hat down, ear buds in, and a sign that says "don't even think of coming to talk to me". Well, just kidding about the sign... maybe.
I watcher her today go up to several families (like usual) and show them all of her swimming tricks like blowing bubbles, putting her face in the water, and super splashy kicks, but then I noticed this one grandfather move to the deep end of the pool with his kids.
"Huh? that's weird" I thought. But maybe he is wanting to work on their swimming technique and needed more room. Then, as Lou started putting that direction to chat, I noticed he quickly moved his crew to the opposite side of the pool. He was clearly trying to get way from her. She was one of those kids to him.
Ooops. I didn't see that coming. I thought those children were the one with dead beat, neglectful parents. Wait. Am I a dead beat mom. Is it true? Am I okay with it? So many questions for an afternoon at the pool.
/ / / / /
Several weeks ago I was sitting at the pool watching the kids swim and noticed another mom swimming with her kids. She and her 2 preschool age kids were playing right in front of me where Lou was just doing her thing. This young mother was very hands-on. And super encouraging... no really, like seriously encouraging. "You are so great at kicking in the water!" "Way to blow bubbles!" "You are so brave!" "I love spending time at the pool with you guys!"
I immediately felt the mom guilt well up inside me. "I should be playing with my kids. She's a better mom than I am because she actually enjoys splashing with her 3 year old. Why can't I find so much joy in watching my toddler blow bubbles in the water?"
About that time I noticed Lou joining in this family's love fest. She is never one to turn down some good old fashion praise and adoration, even from complete strangers.
"Look at how high I can splash when I kick!" "I can put my whole face in the water! Watch me!" The Super Mom looked up at me and then looked back at Lou and said "YOU ARE amazing! Thats the best splash I have ever seen! Look boys, isn't she great at splashing!" And then looked back at me with as if to say... "I guess I will just show your kid the affection she needs since you obviously can't be bothered to mother well." (To be fair. She didn't say these things out loud. But I can totally read minds and well... I'm 99% sure that is what she was thinking.)
She was mom-shaming me right there in the shallow end of the pool.
I couldn't believe it. I wanted to jump in and defend myself and tell her how even when I am in the pool Lou swims up to strangers to show off and how I am a super mom. That I limit screen time (well unless it's summer. or unless Sesame Street is on, because it's educational. or unless I'm trying to cook dinner and... well never mind) and that limit sweets and make homemade dinners and read bedtime stories and....
Instead, I sat there looked her in the eyes and tipped my visor to her. I will not be shamed into mommy competition. I will never win at that game. The truth is... by her standards I am a dead beat. And I think I'm totally cool with that. My kids are happy and safe and have learned to play by themselves (most of the time). Even my mom, the Mother Theresa of moms, didn't chase us around the country club pool cheering on our doggy paddling skills. I never once felt neglected.
So yeah... I am THAT mom and Lou is one of THOSE kids. And neither of us are looking to change. I'm not sure we could even if we tried. But look at this face. Don't you want to see her stick her whole face in the water? It really is a fantastic skill.
FACEBOOK FROM THE PAST
June 2014
I did not enjoy the snarky tone the Wii Fit took with me as it informed me I was overweight and my "wii fit age" is actually 64. What?!? Shut up you stupid Nintendo.
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