Deep thoughts as the ball drops

It's December 31st and I'm sitting in my favorite spot on the couch under a cozy blanket and staring at a Christmas tree that is way past its prime. I think about what a great few months it has been. I enjoyed this holiday season so much which is exactly what we all needed after such a crazy year.

I purposely didn't put a lot of pressure on myself this holiday season. After listening to several podcasts on keeping things simple I was deteremined to do just that. My heart always longs for simple. Im not always good at it because we live in a world and in a time when simple is so difficult and not at all exciting. Nevertheless, I persisted and attempted a stress free minimalist Christmas holiday.

I didn't worry that on December 22nd we still didn't have a single wrapped Christmas present under the tree. I chose not to panic when we only managed to bake and give away half the number of gingerbread cookies than we did last year.  I went minimal on the teacher gifts this year, concentrating only on the main school teachers and asking God to forgive me for drawing a line before any of the specialty teachers and coaches and just really great friends. I kept my cool when we missed a day or too of our family advent devotionals and when the flu struck our house in mid December, I decided it was time to catch up on our favorite season movies. I even introduced myself and my 11 year old to the wonderful world of Hallmark movies!

Miraculously it worked. Slowing down and focusing on what was most important for our family and letting other things "just happen" if there was time, gave us room to breathe and anticipate the Advent of Christmas.

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I'm not one to get caught up in New Year's Resolutions. Not exactly. I mean I have tried the whole "no eating sugar" or "giving up Coke" or "exercise everyday" resolutions in the past but they all seem to fall flat with no real motivation behind them and I end up forgetting it all by February 1st.

However, this year on the heels of a not-so-easy year but a wonderful holiday season, I find myself with the desire to begin 2018 with a little more purpose. Not a list of goals, but with a guiding principle for the year. I hear of people picking a word of the year and I always think that is something they can use for a great motivating hashtag. Even as I roll my eyes at the concept, the word intentional keeps flooding my mind.

Be intentional.

That is what my heart keeps telling me. God has been highlighting all of the ways I coast through life out of habit and it is so very convicting.

I want to be more intentional with my free time. Spending less time mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and choosing to spend my minutes/hours/days with a purpose.

I want to be more intentional with my health, specifically my eating. No more mindless snacking and choosing foods based on proximity and ease. (AKA I need to intentionally try to choose water over Coke. And salad over cheese burgers. The bar is set pretty low here.)

I want to be more intentional with my spiritual growth. Allowing plenty of time for reading and studying the Bible and for praying expectant and specific prayers.

I want to be more intentional with my relationships. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

I want to be intentionally creative. Whatever that means. Whatever form that takes. I just want to spend some time creating this year because it has been far too long.

So I guess Intentional is officially my "word of 2018". It feels so much better than a resolution. I can't really fail. It's not really that kind of goal. It's just a direction I want to take for the next year. It seems like a good direction for the year of 40.

Don't you think?