Happy Birthday to Me.... and Amelia

So this past weekend I celebrated my 10th Mom Birthday. Not that I'm trying to make it all about me, but being a mom for 10 years is kind of a big deal. At least I think so. I think a 10th birthday is HUGE! (said exactly like Donald Trump. Or rather Jimmy Fallon as Donald Trump. You get the idea.) Try telling this to my (now) 10 year old daughter. The one for whom we actually celebrated all weekend. She was so blasé about the whole thing. That's kind of the persona she has developed. Very french. Very indifferent. I guess this is our new Pre-teen persona. It's so interesting to me because it is SO very opposite to my personality. Everything is huge and life altering and scary and happy and exhausting in my world. I live on high alert. Always. Amelia is extremely carefree. Made evident by the total lack of thought or emotion she had the other day when she asked me to sign her test with a big red "D" written on it. I said "Hold up there my usually straight "A" student. What's going on here?" Her response was remarkably relaxed and carefree "Oh yeah. That's my math test. I missed a bunch of questions because I forgot to check my work. No big deal." Ha! No big deal. That's cute. While I applaud your chill vibe it is most certainly a big deal. "Ok. Ill do better next time" and literally skips away. I was so caught off guard that I just said "Uh. Ok. You do that."  Why was there no crying? I don't know how to do confrontation or parenting in general without crying. Huh....

Anyway, back to my birthday. Because she is so, as I said, blasé about life, she informed me that she didn't want a cake or anything special for her (huge! Number 10!) birthday and just wanted to go catch a movie with some friends. Ugh. Are you kidding me?!?!? Mama NEEDS a party. Complete with cake and ice cream and singing and candles and Pinterest and balloons.... "Nah. nothing big. Maybe some cookies" Ugh Ugh. But Amelia, sweetie, Where will I put the candle for MY picture if there is no cake? (Do you a see how special I am trying to make this for Me? I mean HER.) Anyway, she politely agreed to let me put the candle in some sort of baked good so we (just family) could sing Happy Birthday. And we made special cookies for her friends to have at the movies. And when she was asleep I decorated the house and filled her room with balloons, because I just couldn't stop. All in all it was a perfect 10th birthday for both of us. She loved every second of it (even the balloons) because it was exactly what she wanted and nothing more.

Cinnamon rolls "almost" as good as birthday cake

Hedgehog cookies.
Amelia is obsessed with Hedgehogs these days. Why hedgehogs? 

I have to say, a birthday party at the movies really is the easiest thing ever.
These girls were so sweet and fun and they even let little brother tag along.
He wasn't going to miss Kung Fu Panda 3.

Mad libs and pizza with her 2 best friends.
A perfect end to her big day.

I get so excited and scared thinking about parenting "big" kids. I was scared of babies and toddlers, but their needs were more physical and less psychological. You know? I assumed that these kids would turn out to look and act just like me, but they are their own people. So unique and interesting and just fun to be around. Amelia's calm nature is truly amazing to me. She has a calm confidence that I really have never experienced. She doesn't care to have a big fuss made about her. She actually shies away from it. She has no desire to call attention to herself in a crowd or with her friends. She's happy to be their supportive friend who laughs at all the jokes, because she is just happy to be there. But then she gets on stage to act or dance or sing a solo and she shines. No nerves or awkwardness. Just complete control and confidence.

As I mentioned I am the complete opposite. I LOVE to be the center of attention. I celebrate my birthday for a whole month. Seriously, the entire month. No matter how hard I try to hold back, when I am with a group of people I always end up taking over the conversation. Feeding off the laughter of others (the Amelia's in the group). But standing on stage is absolutely terrifying to me. Singing alone? No way. I could never. I am not that confident. We are alike is so many ways, but it's our differences that really excite me and keep me on my toes.

I look forward to the next 10 years of parenting this one. She keeps it interesting.

Morning Struggles

The struggle is real.
This is a short week following a long four day weekend thanks to Presidents Day. I really do love holidays. And I love the freedom of having everyone at home with no agenda or need to get up and dressed and out the door. But allow me to complain about this wonderful gift knowing full well that this is super obnoxious of me to do so. And yes, I realize I just posted about the love and joy of SAHMotherhood. But, hey, it's a rollercoaster. Lots of ups and downs and my mood and perspective is directly related to the amount of quiet moments I have to sip my caffeine. So anyway, Monday was rough guys. It's been cold so the kids haven't played outside all weekend. It warmed up a bit for Monday, but then came the rain. AND we had HVAC work going on inside the house which made for a little extra crazy going on that day.

When they are all together couped up in the house my children start to resemble caged animals. Lots of screeching and scratching (some biting) and to put it simply... cat fighting. I decided to load them in the car to go pick up lunch because that seemed like a good distraction. I even agreed to go to multiple drive thru restaurants to please all the passengers because I am the coolest mom ever (and  the longer I have the strapped into the car the better). But even as each one is basking in the joy of his/her favorite french fries they are swatting and yelling at each other. Good Grief. At this moment I blurted out the first solution that came to my mind and said....

"Guys stop fighting! Just pretend each other doesn't exist. You are all only children today!"

Sure, that was probably not the best parenting choice, but it got the job done and I have no regrets.

We made it to Monday night which is my favorite because 12 women come to my home to discuss the Bible and drink coffee. It's a wonderful time with other grown ups and extra special because my husband handles bedtime duties at this time. We read about Abraham and Sarah and their faith and obedience and it was just what I needed to refocus my view and prepare for the next day. Tuesday.

Everyone will be so excited to return to school! It's gonna be so great, right?!?  Uh. Not so much.

I think the Holderness family summed it up with this awesome 90's tribute...

I mean this is literally the way Louisa was trying to go UP the stairs 2 minutes before we had to leave the house for school. #geniuschild

We made it only 15 min late. Which isn't too bad considering. Oh well, the weekend is around the corner, right?!? And bonus: The downstairs AND upstairs have heat now. #winning.

What's in a niche?

So here we are. It has been a whole week and Im just now sitting back down to this. I knew it would be tough. Life is crazy these days. Not just for me, I know. It is crazy for everyone. I often talk to my mom about how much more hurried and rushed we feel today compared to when I was a kid. I mean, I think that is the case. I do remember that she was overwhelmed and wild and we drove her completely nuts so maybe it wasn't so different.

Looking back and thinking of my mom during those years is part of why I want to write this blog. She was so busy working and being a mom and cleaning and cooking and managing the household budget and driving us all over town. I watched her and it was hard for her. All she ever really wanted to do was be at home with us. She was a Home Economics major and that was (and still is) her passion. She worked because it was necessary for us to do all the extras that we wanted to do. So even when working she was doing it for us.

Thankfully, I have this opportunity to be at home. To run the daily operations of the Summy household and not have to juggle with it another job outside these walls. I have mad respect for all those moms who do what my mom did. That's a lot of hats and I personally couldn't wear them all.

So back to what this has to do with my writing. I've had this desire to write for a while. Really since being at home. I have a lot of words in my head and I want to get them out. My kids don't really want to hear them. And neither does my husband. Why not put them out there for the internet to read? But here's the problem... and I am just being honest... I don't read blogs. I rarely read at all, but I really never read a blog. So how does one write something she would never read herself? Seems a little hypocritical. Right? I don't read long blogs because I don't really have time to sit and read. I see posts that look interesting and think "Oh. I need to come back to that one. maybe next time I'm alone in bathroom." Seriously, that's what I think (Full disclosure). However, I never actually come back to those because there are 1000 other interesting posts that come across my newsfeed before I get a chance. At least my intentions are good.

So that got me thinking. What would I write that would not be the same Mom stuff that is already out there. Someone else has written every single thing from every different perspective about being a Mom. And they have done it better than I could. Im not an authority on anything. Fashion? Uh no. Cooking? Nope. Healthy Lifestyle? absolutely not. Example of the perfect Godly wife and mum? Please don't make me laugh! The internet is full of really smart people writing about things that they know and encouraging other people to listen as they drop some knowledge on the subject. That is what I was missing. The topic. The niche. That thing that reigns in all of these random thoughts and turns them into something special. Without it I was writing without a purpose. And I need a purpose for everything. It's a sickness. Without purpose things hardly seem necessary or worth while.

I promise I have a point.... I will try to get to it now. I haven't ironed out all the details, but I think my purpose is my kids. Like my mom, I seem to have found/stumbled upon the joy of motherhood. It didn't happen immediately for me and it didn't happen all at once. I dug my heels in for years trying to do something "more important" and "more profitable" and just "more" than being a mom. But now I get it. I've spent the last 2 years reading the Bible cover to cover and I have noticed how my perspective/world view has changed. God has shown me This IS it. THIS is what Im made for. My one job. Love these kids and do it well. They see me screw this up every single day... sometimes as early as 9am. But every day I learn something from them. Something from God. Something from the world. And that is why I will write. I want to tell them all these things. I want them to have a front row seat to the craziness in their mom's head and hopefully learn a little something too.

So to Amelia, Walt, and Louisa. Enjoy. I will drop all my mom knowledge on you. And I will most definitely embarrass you (and myself) in the process.

A new beginning

A new beginning. A new start. This could be fun.

I've been thinking for a while now that I want to revive my blog. I spend a lot of time posting on facebook and from what I hear, I am skilled in the way of status updates. I don't like to brag. It's not really something I ever do, but Im not even really sure if that is something one can actual brag about. It is such a random thing to be good at, and (as my husband says) it just about the least marketable skill a person could possess. So what does that have to do with a blog? Well, my facebook statuses seem to be getting longer and longer and more frequent. Apparently I have a lot of useless thoughts that I feel must be publicized immediately (well after carefully edited, of course). So in an attempt to stop clogging up my friends' news feeds and shorten my updates to something more "statusy" like "Does if have to be raining again? #wherestheark", I have decided to unload some of my extra words and random thoughts on this blog. Some of these thoughts will be super intelligent and some of them will be like "When will Jimmy Fallon realize that he and I really could be best friends if he would give me a chance? And also if he could bring his friend JT along with him that would be great."

I'm making no promises that I will be able to keep this up. And really, who cares? Without a scrolling news feed platform I don't expect to have many readers. That's perfectly fine. Im just rambling anyway.

So here's to new beginnings. Hope you guys still love me after you read the unabbreviated version of my thoughts. Because, it can get a little crazy up in here.