Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Just between me and me.... and the world wide web

So I am feeling the need to journal about things right now. And since I don't have a physical journal I am just going to use this blog as my outlet. I am thinking no one really reads this anymore anyway since I have been MIA for almost a year. And if you do decide to read it, I apologize in advance....

I had a long discussion with the husband last night Discussion is a relative term here. I did a lot of talking that was directed at him. He kept up with it for a while (bless his heart) but pretty soon I started to see his face go blank and I could tell that I was sounding like the teacher from Charlie Brown to him. That didn't stop me from finishing my conversation. He was a sport for staying in the room and staying awake until I was done. Good man.

Anyway... the discussion was about my obsession with food. I love food. I think about it all the time. I mean that is why I started this blog a couple of years ago to brag about all of the food I was making. The problem with my love for food is that I think I may be letting it become an idol. WHAT?!? Watch out... Im about to go all religious....

So I just started reading a book in my Wednesday night Bible study called No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. I am loving it and it is really hitting me where it hurts. In my stomach. She talks about the problem particularly with Christians worshiping God at the same time as serving all of these other gods. As a Christian I have always felt I had a handle on the God is the one and only God. Thinking of idols as statues from the old testament that are not a part of my reality. I have also done many a study talking about worshiping other idols like money, children, hobbies... instead of God. I dont feel like I have that problem either. But this is the first time I thought about worshiping God while at the same time serving other idols. THIS I have problem with. Where am I going with this? So I started thinking about what I put my trust and time and thoughts in. The answer usually comes back to food. Not directly but kind of....

I struggle, like most women, with body image. I am a yo-yo dieter. I constantly wish I looked a different way and so I am on this rollercoaster of diet, exercise, binge, guilt, repeat. So what can I do about it? When I diet, I obsess about food. What will I eat, what I can't eat, how many calories, how much I have to run to be able to eat "blank" later. It is exhausting. So I stop dieting... And then it really falls apart. I still think about food all of the time. So I eat ALL of the time and then I feel guilty ALL of the time. So then I eat some more. UGH. Just writing it down makes my stomach hurt a little. So I need to figure out a plan.... First step is recognizing that food does not deserve so much of my thoughts and time. That time belongs to God. I need to find a way to rely on God instead of food. And if I have to eat nothing but Manna to survive. So be it... Well that may be a little extreme, but there is something there. God told the Israelites that HE was all they needed. That He would provide food for them so that they would not die in the wilderness. He did not say He would supply cupcakes and pizza for them. He gave them Manna. I imagine manna was like a bran muffin. Not horrible tasting. Extremely good for you. But just not what you want day in and day out. I think God was making a point that food should not be something that we obsess over. Worry about. Food is for health and energy and nutrients. That is how we should look at it. It is not for sitting on the couch late at night eating tons of Thin Mints just because they are delicious. (I have heard of people that do that... But I would never...)

I have done quite a bit of rambling but I am not sure where I want to go with this. I think I am starting a journey to change the way I think of food. I still love to cook and will continue to do so. But I need to first think about my spiritual health, physical health, and the health of my family and THEN plan my meals/diet accordingly. Will this work? We will see....


  1. girl...I hear what you're preaching. That's so me. Have you read Lysa TerKuerst's "Made to Crave"? It's awesome - about how God created us to crave...but we were made to crave him and nothing else. I read it and loved it and need to read it again so I'll take the lessons to heart.

  2. Who ARE those people who eat sleeves of Thin Mints late at night, anyway??

    Love this post. So needed to hear that. Probably need to do that Bible Study too. You know it's bad when you are planning your next meal while eating the previous one...

    Miss your face

  3. I'm so happy you're writing again!
    I believe God created amazing foods and gave us the ability to enjoy them. As you know, I love to cook. Cooking, for me, takes on a spiritual aspect, maybe not unlike what artists experience when they are painting or creating art through whatever medium. Breaking bread together is supposed to be a spiritual experience. Whenever I find myself eating out of boredom, stress, etc. I remind myself about how much more special it is to eat something I took time to prepare to enjoy with another person while giving thanks for the opportunity. That's a lot of rambling from me, and I don't mean to hijack your blog. Take time with food because it, along with the experiences that surround it, is a gift from God, and don't punish yourself :)