Happy Birthday to Me.... and Amelia

So this past weekend I celebrated my 10th Mom Birthday. Not that I'm trying to make it all about me, but being a mom for 10 years is kind of a big deal. At least I think so. I think a 10th birthday is HUGE! (said exactly like Donald Trump. Or rather Jimmy Fallon as Donald Trump. You get the idea.) Try telling this to my (now) 10 year old daughter. The one for whom we actually celebrated all weekend. She was so blasé about the whole thing. That's kind of the persona she has developed. Very french. Very indifferent. I guess this is our new Pre-teen persona. It's so interesting to me because it is SO very opposite to my personality. Everything is huge and life altering and scary and happy and exhausting in my world. I live on high alert. Always. Amelia is extremely carefree. Made evident by the total lack of thought or emotion she had the other day when she asked me to sign her test with a big red "D" written on it. I said "Hold up there my usually straight "A" student. What's going on here?" Her response was remarkably relaxed and carefree "Oh yeah. That's my math test. I missed a bunch of questions because I forgot to check my work. No big deal." Ha! No big deal. That's cute. While I applaud your chill vibe it is most certainly a big deal. "Ok. Ill do better next time" and literally skips away. I was so caught off guard that I just said "Uh. Ok. You do that."  Why was there no crying? I don't know how to do confrontation or parenting in general without crying. Huh....

Anyway, back to my birthday. Because she is so, as I said, blasé about life, she informed me that she didn't want a cake or anything special for her (huge! Number 10!) birthday and just wanted to go catch a movie with some friends. Ugh. Are you kidding me?!?!? Mama NEEDS a party. Complete with cake and ice cream and singing and candles and Pinterest and balloons.... "Nah. nothing big. Maybe some cookies" Ugh Ugh. But Amelia, sweetie, Where will I put the candle for MY picture if there is no cake? (Do you a see how special I am trying to make this for Me? I mean HER.) Anyway, she politely agreed to let me put the candle in some sort of baked good so we (just family) could sing Happy Birthday. And we made special cookies for her friends to have at the movies. And when she was asleep I decorated the house and filled her room with balloons, because I just couldn't stop. All in all it was a perfect 10th birthday for both of us. She loved every second of it (even the balloons) because it was exactly what she wanted and nothing more.

Cinnamon rolls "almost" as good as birthday cake

Hedgehog cookies.
Amelia is obsessed with Hedgehogs these days. Why hedgehogs? 

I have to say, a birthday party at the movies really is the easiest thing ever.
These girls were so sweet and fun and they even let little brother tag along.
He wasn't going to miss Kung Fu Panda 3.

Mad libs and pizza with her 2 best friends.
A perfect end to her big day.

I get so excited and scared thinking about parenting "big" kids. I was scared of babies and toddlers, but their needs were more physical and less psychological. You know? I assumed that these kids would turn out to look and act just like me, but they are their own people. So unique and interesting and just fun to be around. Amelia's calm nature is truly amazing to me. She has a calm confidence that I really have never experienced. She doesn't care to have a big fuss made about her. She actually shies away from it. She has no desire to call attention to herself in a crowd or with her friends. She's happy to be their supportive friend who laughs at all the jokes, because she is just happy to be there. But then she gets on stage to act or dance or sing a solo and she shines. No nerves or awkwardness. Just complete control and confidence.

As I mentioned I am the complete opposite. I LOVE to be the center of attention. I celebrate my birthday for a whole month. Seriously, the entire month. No matter how hard I try to hold back, when I am with a group of people I always end up taking over the conversation. Feeding off the laughter of others (the Amelia's in the group). But standing on stage is absolutely terrifying to me. Singing alone? No way. I could never. I am not that confident. We are alike is so many ways, but it's our differences that really excite me and keep me on my toes.

I look forward to the next 10 years of parenting this one. She keeps it interesting.

Morning Struggles

The struggle is real.
This is a short week following a long four day weekend thanks to Presidents Day. I really do love holidays. And I love the freedom of having everyone at home with no agenda or need to get up and dressed and out the door. But allow me to complain about this wonderful gift knowing full well that this is super obnoxious of me to do so. And yes, I realize I just posted about the love and joy of SAHMotherhood. But, hey, it's a rollercoaster. Lots of ups and downs and my mood and perspective is directly related to the amount of quiet moments I have to sip my caffeine. So anyway, Monday was rough guys. It's been cold so the kids haven't played outside all weekend. It warmed up a bit for Monday, but then came the rain. AND we had HVAC work going on inside the house which made for a little extra crazy going on that day.

When they are all together couped up in the house my children start to resemble caged animals. Lots of screeching and scratching (some biting) and to put it simply... cat fighting. I decided to load them in the car to go pick up lunch because that seemed like a good distraction. I even agreed to go to multiple drive thru restaurants to please all the passengers because I am the coolest mom ever (and  the longer I have the strapped into the car the better). But even as each one is basking in the joy of his/her favorite french fries they are swatting and yelling at each other. Good Grief. At this moment I blurted out the first solution that came to my mind and said....

"Guys stop fighting! Just pretend each other doesn't exist. You are all only children today!"

Sure, that was probably not the best parenting choice, but it got the job done and I have no regrets.

We made it to Monday night which is my favorite because 12 women come to my home to discuss the Bible and drink coffee. It's a wonderful time with other grown ups and extra special because my husband handles bedtime duties at this time. We read about Abraham and Sarah and their faith and obedience and it was just what I needed to refocus my view and prepare for the next day. Tuesday.

Everyone will be so excited to return to school! It's gonna be so great, right?!?  Uh. Not so much.

I think the Holderness family summed it up with this awesome 90's tribute...

I mean this is literally the way Louisa was trying to go UP the stairs 2 minutes before we had to leave the house for school. #geniuschild

We made it only 15 min late. Which isn't too bad considering. Oh well, the weekend is around the corner, right?!? And bonus: The downstairs AND upstairs have heat now. #winning.

What's in a niche?

So here we are. It has been a whole week and Im just now sitting back down to this. I knew it would be tough. Life is crazy these days. Not just for me, I know. It is crazy for everyone. I often talk to my mom about how much more hurried and rushed we feel today compared to when I was a kid. I mean, I think that is the case. I do remember that she was overwhelmed and wild and we drove her completely nuts so maybe it wasn't so different.

Looking back and thinking of my mom during those years is part of why I want to write this blog. She was so busy working and being a mom and cleaning and cooking and managing the household budget and driving us all over town. I watched her and it was hard for her. All she ever really wanted to do was be at home with us. She was a Home Economics major and that was (and still is) her passion. She worked because it was necessary for us to do all the extras that we wanted to do. So even when working she was doing it for us.

Thankfully, I have this opportunity to be at home. To run the daily operations of the Summy household and not have to juggle with it another job outside these walls. I have mad respect for all those moms who do what my mom did. That's a lot of hats and I personally couldn't wear them all.

So back to what this has to do with my writing. I've had this desire to write for a while. Really since being at home. I have a lot of words in my head and I want to get them out. My kids don't really want to hear them. And neither does my husband. Why not put them out there for the internet to read? But here's the problem... and I am just being honest... I don't read blogs. I rarely read at all, but I really never read a blog. So how does one write something she would never read herself? Seems a little hypocritical. Right? I don't read long blogs because I don't really have time to sit and read. I see posts that look interesting and think "Oh. I need to come back to that one. maybe next time I'm alone in bathroom." Seriously, that's what I think (Full disclosure). However, I never actually come back to those because there are 1000 other interesting posts that come across my newsfeed before I get a chance. At least my intentions are good.

So that got me thinking. What would I write that would not be the same Mom stuff that is already out there. Someone else has written every single thing from every different perspective about being a Mom. And they have done it better than I could. Im not an authority on anything. Fashion? Uh no. Cooking? Nope. Healthy Lifestyle? absolutely not. Example of the perfect Godly wife and mum? Please don't make me laugh! The internet is full of really smart people writing about things that they know and encouraging other people to listen as they drop some knowledge on the subject. That is what I was missing. The topic. The niche. That thing that reigns in all of these random thoughts and turns them into something special. Without it I was writing without a purpose. And I need a purpose for everything. It's a sickness. Without purpose things hardly seem necessary or worth while.

I promise I have a point.... I will try to get to it now. I haven't ironed out all the details, but I think my purpose is my kids. Like my mom, I seem to have found/stumbled upon the joy of motherhood. It didn't happen immediately for me and it didn't happen all at once. I dug my heels in for years trying to do something "more important" and "more profitable" and just "more" than being a mom. But now I get it. I've spent the last 2 years reading the Bible cover to cover and I have noticed how my perspective/world view has changed. God has shown me This IS it. THIS is what Im made for. My one job. Love these kids and do it well. They see me screw this up every single day... sometimes as early as 9am. But every day I learn something from them. Something from God. Something from the world. And that is why I will write. I want to tell them all these things. I want them to have a front row seat to the craziness in their mom's head and hopefully learn a little something too.

So to Amelia, Walt, and Louisa. Enjoy. I will drop all my mom knowledge on you. And I will most definitely embarrass you (and myself) in the process.

A new beginning

A new beginning. A new start. This could be fun.

I've been thinking for a while now that I want to revive my blog. I spend a lot of time posting on facebook and from what I hear, I am skilled in the way of status updates. I don't like to brag. It's not really something I ever do, but Im not even really sure if that is something one can actual brag about. It is such a random thing to be good at, and (as my husband says) it just about the least marketable skill a person could possess. So what does that have to do with a blog? Well, my facebook statuses seem to be getting longer and longer and more frequent. Apparently I have a lot of useless thoughts that I feel must be publicized immediately (well after carefully edited, of course). So in an attempt to stop clogging up my friends' news feeds and shorten my updates to something more "statusy" like "Does if have to be raining again? #wherestheark", I have decided to unload some of my extra words and random thoughts on this blog. Some of these thoughts will be super intelligent and some of them will be like "When will Jimmy Fallon realize that he and I really could be best friends if he would give me a chance? And also if he could bring his friend JT along with him that would be great."

I'm making no promises that I will be able to keep this up. And really, who cares? Without a scrolling news feed platform I don't expect to have many readers. That's perfectly fine. Im just rambling anyway.

So here's to new beginnings. Hope you guys still love me after you read the unabbreviated version of my thoughts. Because, it can get a little crazy up in here.

The Anti-Pioneer Woman...

I love the Pioneer Woman. She is truly awesome, her blog is awesome, and she makes some really awesome dishes. So when I say I am an anti pioneer women, I don't mean anti THE pioneer woman. I was just thinking the other day that you can find a recipe online to make anything you could dream of. That really makes us amateur cooks look like we have serious skills. When really the pre-blog, pre-pinterest chefs are the real Pioneer Women. Those are the people who had to come up with all the amazing recipes. They have to try and try and fail and try again to get all of the measurements right so that the rest of us can just google "peanut butter icing" and voila we have the perfect recipe for the perfect cupcake. I was making the afore mentioned peanut butter chocolate cupcakes a few weeks ago and it hit me that if I didn't have the internet I would have no idea how to make this icing. If I didn't have an amazing passed down recipe from my grandmother or a recipe given to me by a good friend I would just be out of luck. Hmm. I don't really think I have a point, just realizing the massive effects of the world wide web on every part of my life.

So last time I wrote, I spoke of my plan to change my outlook on food. I have been successful at this somedays and failed miserably on others but it is always in the back of my mind. I want very much to look at food as a means for survival but also look at it as a wonderful gift from God. These millions of recipes that I have access to by just the click of a mouse are examples of how we can take God's gifts and create something beautiful with them. A good friend who commented on my last post had it right when she said that we should "take our time with food because it and the experiences that surround it are a gift from God." That is a very delicious thought!!

And on that note, I would like to show off the beautiful Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cupcakes that I made for my niece Elzy's baby dedication. What a great way to thank God for beautiful babies and Christian families. Oh and I am also thankful for eggs, sugar, peanuts, cocoa and of course, butter!

I also made strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese icing which were even more delicious but I don't even have a picture of them because they were eaten almost immediately!

I should really round out this post with a few of the healthy options that I have recently made thanks to Pinterest. Does any one else have a irrational fear that one day Pinterest will disappear and with it all of the amazing things I have pinned? No? Yeah, me neither.

Roasted Asparagus with Parmesan Cheese

I didn't like asparagus growing up. Perhaps because my mom didn't know it could be cooked like this. Poor mom, how did she survive with out Pinterest? To my surprise my kids are HUGE fans of asparagus. Couldn't get enough. Yum!

Oh and here is a nice light pasta salad that I found and love. Perfect for Summer. I am going to call it Pasta Primavera because it is very close to my favorite pasta salad by the same name at Whole Foods. Double yum.

Just between me and me.... and the world wide web

So I am feeling the need to journal about things right now. And since I don't have a physical journal I am just going to use this blog as my outlet. I am thinking no one really reads this anymore anyway since I have been MIA for almost a year. And if you do decide to read it, I apologize in advance....

I had a long discussion with the husband last night Discussion is a relative term here. I did a lot of talking that was directed at him. He kept up with it for a while (bless his heart) but pretty soon I started to see his face go blank and I could tell that I was sounding like the teacher from Charlie Brown to him. That didn't stop me from finishing my conversation. He was a sport for staying in the room and staying awake until I was done. Good man.

Anyway... the discussion was about my obsession with food. I love food. I think about it all the time. I mean that is why I started this blog a couple of years ago to brag about all of the food I was making. The problem with my love for food is that I think I may be letting it become an idol. WHAT?!? Watch out... Im about to go all religious....

So I just started reading a book in my Wednesday night Bible study called No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. I am loving it and it is really hitting me where it hurts. In my stomach. She talks about the problem particularly with Christians worshiping God at the same time as serving all of these other gods. As a Christian I have always felt I had a handle on the God is the one and only God. Thinking of idols as statues from the old testament that are not a part of my reality. I have also done many a study talking about worshiping other idols like money, children, hobbies... instead of God. I dont feel like I have that problem either. But this is the first time I thought about worshiping God while at the same time serving other idols. THIS I have problem with. Where am I going with this? So I started thinking about what I put my trust and time and thoughts in. The answer usually comes back to food. Not directly but kind of....

I struggle, like most women, with body image. I am a yo-yo dieter. I constantly wish I looked a different way and so I am on this rollercoaster of diet, exercise, binge, guilt, repeat. So what can I do about it? When I diet, I obsess about food. What will I eat, what I can't eat, how many calories, how much I have to run to be able to eat "blank" later. It is exhausting. So I stop dieting... And then it really falls apart. I still think about food all of the time. So I eat ALL of the time and then I feel guilty ALL of the time. So then I eat some more. UGH. Just writing it down makes my stomach hurt a little. So I need to figure out a plan.... First step is recognizing that food does not deserve so much of my thoughts and time. That time belongs to God. I need to find a way to rely on God instead of food. And if I have to eat nothing but Manna to survive. So be it... Well that may be a little extreme, but there is something there. God told the Israelites that HE was all they needed. That He would provide food for them so that they would not die in the wilderness. He did not say He would supply cupcakes and pizza for them. He gave them Manna. I imagine manna was like a bran muffin. Not horrible tasting. Extremely good for you. But just not what you want day in and day out. I think God was making a point that food should not be something that we obsess over. Worry about. Food is for health and energy and nutrients. That is how we should look at it. It is not for sitting on the couch late at night eating tons of Thin Mints just because they are delicious. (I have heard of people that do that... But I would never...)

I have done quite a bit of rambling but I am not sure where I want to go with this. I think I am starting a journey to change the way I think of food. I still love to cook and will continue to do so. But I need to first think about my spiritual health, physical health, and the health of my family and THEN plan my meals/diet accordingly. Will this work? We will see....

Don't forget to stop and smell the pumpkin spice latte...

Confession: I have been a bit of a grump for the past day or two. I don't know what the reason is. Maybe I am tired. Maybe too busy. Maybe I am not spending the necessary time alone with God. Maybe it is sick children or the fact that I just smashed up my car...again. I just don't know. Probably a combination of it all. But as I drank my usual tall, non-fat, light whip, peppermint mocha and looked out the window at the beautiful day I decided to let it go. It is officially Fall Y'all and if I am not careful my favorite season will be gone before I can order another coffee.

So bloggy friends I am using you guys as my own little form of therapy. I feel certain that if I purge myself of gloomy thoughts and in the same breath discuss the new week's plans for delicious cooking and autumn activities I will be cured! I am starting to feel better already!

One of the side effects of gloominess is the lack of cooking that has been going on here. I have the ingredients for some amazing pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that I have been dying to try and I just need to get in there and make. What better way to bring a smile to everyone's face?!?

So other than the plan to make some delicious cookies I don't have any new recipes to share. Instead I will recap what has been going on in our little corner of Suburbia in the last couple of weeks.

Let's see...

I became an official school mom and "helped" Amelia with her first school project. Ocean in a Box. I am pretty sure that I am more proud of it than she is. Probably because she was mainly there to supervise my work.

We have also been moving forward with the cosmetic renovations of our new home. We hit a minor snag when we found a little mold behind some wallpaper in our kitchen. Yikes. So we had to stop and have a contractor come out and remove the mold and put up new sheetrock. This is what I came home to one afternoon. It was a little un-nerving. But we have eradicated said mold and are moving forward with project "make our house pretty".

I found these at Target the other day. Anyone tried them yet? Im very interested and they seem like a perfect way to celebrate the start of a beautiful fall day. Dont you think?

Now on to the good stuff! So our big wedding anniversary was last week. October 6th was our 10 year anniversary!! I know people say it all of the time but I really can't believe we have been together that long. So much has happened in our lives in the last ten years. I feel so very lucky!

So here we are 10 years ago for those of you who didn't know us back then...

Pretty cute huh? We were such babies. So the hubs and I had a fun time celebrating. That day we had lunch and my favorite place in town. Houstons. I can't help it. I am someone who finds comfort in consistancy and that is what Houstons is for me. I know what I am going to order every time I go. Thai steak and noodle salad. It is the most perfect meal. So many amazing flavors that I will never be able to recreate at home! Perfection on a plate.

I also have to do a little braggin on my husband. What anniversary would be complete with out gorgeous flowers? These smelled as good as they look. He really out did himself.

The big celebration came the next night when we went to Viking for a cooking class. SO much fun. If you haven't done this and you live near one, you should try it out. A chance to cook an amazing dinner in a super fancy kitchen and then eat sit down and eat your creation is a perfect evening for me! Thank you Steve for an amazing anniversary!

So after reading all of this I can't figure out why I have been in a grumpy mood. What do I have to be grumpy about? The answer is nothing! Thanks bloggy therapist. What do I owe you?