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I want to write, but writing is hard.
I want to clean my house, but cleaning is hard.
I want to eat healthy, but eating healthy is hard.
I want to exercise regularly, but exercising is hard.
I want to run, but running is really hard.
I want to wake up early for quiet time, but waking up early is impossible.
I want to be patient with kids, but being patient is hard.
I want to lose 10 lbs, but losing weight is hard.
I want to make better use of my time, but organization is hard.
I want to be a good mother, but mothering is just hard.
Do you know what's not hard?
Watching Netflix.
Eating cookies.
Making brownies. Seriously, why has God given me the ability to make delicious brownies with ease?
Falling asleep while trying to read.
Ignoring laundry.
Wasting time on social media.
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I'll give you a minute to catch your breath after reading such a masterpiece. I knew that I had been in a funk recently, but reading my own incomplete thoughts shed a bright new light on this funk. It is real and has been hanging around for a while... perhaps the better part of a year.
"2017 has really kicked me in the butt." I said to my husband as I started the long "get ready for bed" process.
(Incidentally, only MY "get ready for bed" process is time consuming. My husband somehow just decides to go to bed and then simply gets. in. the. bed. With exactly zero pomp and circumstance. I kind of hate him for it.)
"Yeah," he mumbles as his eyes are closing, "it has not been the easiest year."
And that really sums it up.
2017 hasn't been particularly horrific or disastrous for the Summy family. Actually, there have been some very high points during the year (summer vacations and camps and, most recently, DISNEY...more on that later I'm sure), but all in all it has been a year of work. We have pushed through this year with our heads down and our sleeves rolled up and doing the real work of living life as a family. I wrote about a few of the "less than fun" things on this blog and there were other things just a little too private to share.
If I scan back through my social media feeds I find 2017 has been a little less Instagram and Facebook worthy. Not as many cute and polished pics of us doing fun hashtag filled activities as a family... #nofilter #choose901 #tooblessedtobestressed #timeslowdown. (BTW. Time please DO NOT slow down, because all I need is for grocery store runs and carpools and dinner clean up and homework to last longer to officially push me over the edge. Anyway I digress. again.) It's not that there were no good moments. They were just simple every day life moments that rarely get a mention on social media.
Still, as we stumble into fall and approach the holiday season -- my most favorite time of year -- I can look back and be proud of how we have trudged through the weeds as a family and are coming out on the other side stronger and with some great stories. This has been a year a growth and transition with lots of happy memories peppered with difficult new beginnings, sad goodbyes, tiresome sickness, pressing responsibilities, learning our limits, facing our fears, and experiencing grace. We will look back on this year and smile as see all the ways God was using us, teaching us, and changing us.
We made it to October 26th, y'all. The air is cooler. There are pumpkins on the front steps and I have 3 bags of Halloween candy in my pantry that no one knows about except me....and now the internet. I'm excited to enjoy the next 2 festive months and treat them as the closing ceremonies of the 2017 Summy Games! I may even hand out superlative medals as a new traditions....hmm... let me think a minute on that one.
Let me leave you with a visual of the mixed emotions we have felt this year. This little piece of Disney magic brings me such joy every time I look at it.
FACEBOOK FROM THE PAST
September 2016
Having flaxseed stuck in my teeth is not a problem I ever wanted to have. This is why I don't do healthy eating. #ipreferdonuts
